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It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
high people should be assigned attendants
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
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