Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Ontario (613)

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  (613): View more from Ontario

  I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.

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  (613): I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy. http://tfl.nu/5u2t
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  i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.

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  (613): i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice. http://tfl.nu/jk56
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  I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.

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  (613): I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome. http://tfl.nu/nxz1
  Replies (35) Good night (11776) Bad night (1038) Order T-Shirt
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  Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.

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  (613): Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill. http://tfl.nu/ungu
  Replies (10) Good night (4419) Bad night (662) Order T-Shirt
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  My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian

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  (613): My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian http://tfl.nu/6wog
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  my text book just quoted the cookie monster

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  (613): my text book just quoted the cookie monster http://tfl.nu/5m8t
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  Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?

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  (613): Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making? http://tfl.nu/bys4
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  no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.

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  (613): no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds. http://tfl.nu/h5lf
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  i told him im from Canada, abortion is free

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  (613): i told him im from Canada, abortion is free http://tfl.nu/em2l
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  So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.

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  (613): So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success. http://tfl.nu/o5kx
  Replies (7) Good night (5373) Bad night (757)
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  had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off

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  (613): had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off http://tfl.nu/1hbn
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  Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.

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  (613): Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing. http://tfl.nu/hxx0
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  You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..

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  (613): You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon.. http://tfl.nu/gnh9
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  Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww

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  no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call

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  (613): Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww (1-613): no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call http://tfl.nu/pane
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  One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.

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  (613): One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious. http://tfl.nu/t95v
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