Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Oregon (541)

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  (541): View more from Oregon

  apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...

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  (541): apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex... http://tfl.nu/6yny
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  just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..

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  (541): just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony.. http://tfl.nu/riwy
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  Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.

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  (541): Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing. http://tfl.nu/0c84
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  you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you

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  (541): you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you http://tfl.nu/5gma
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  To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.

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  (541): To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever. http://tfl.nu/9nwk
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  Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.

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  (541): Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in. http://tfl.nu/jhqc
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  dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room

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  (541): dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room http://tfl.nu/exa4
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  She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it

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  (541): She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it http://tfl.nu/9pgr
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  I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.

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  (541): I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top. http://tfl.nu/w6ft
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  So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display

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  (541): So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display http://tfl.nu/m1ar
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  mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.

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  "half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.

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  (541): mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up. (925): "half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking. http://tfl.nu/v25q
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  When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.

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  (541): When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside. http://tfl.nu/wpt8
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  Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.

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  (541): Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid. http://tfl.nu/2ym3
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  She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.

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  (541): She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad. http://tfl.nu/yao2
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  I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.

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  (541): I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me. http://tfl.nu/2bgd
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