Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Wisconsin (715)

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  All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.

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  (715): All I want for christmas is my sobriety back. http://tfl.nu/wb57
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  he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.

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  (715): he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut. http://tfl.nu/y3au
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  STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up

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  (715): STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up http://tfl.nu/m2d3
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  she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...

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  (715): she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over... http://tfl.nu/jqzz
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  just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.

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  (715): just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever. http://tfl.nu/r25i
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  I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.

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  (715): I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed. http://tfl.nu/mebd
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  I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.

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  (715): I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover. http://tfl.nu/vijq
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  sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night

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  (715): sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night http://tfl.nu/ih63
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  and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...

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  (715): and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat... http://tfl.nu/4hvy
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  I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.

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  (715): I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win. http://tfl.nu/jyaa
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  You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now

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  (715): You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now http://tfl.nu/q56d
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  Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.

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  (715): Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's. http://tfl.nu/k4yu
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  sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.

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  (715): sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad. http://tfl.nu/f27c
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  I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.

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  Worst stoner tragedy.

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  (262): I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo. (715): Worst stoner tragedy. http://tfl.nu/7uyr
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  I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.

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  (715): I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too. http://tfl.nu/0d25
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