Texts From Last Night

Last Night in British Columbia (250)

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  Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,

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  (250): Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog, http://tfl.nu/g0c0
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  are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...

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  (250): are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning... http://tfl.nu/a14h
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  i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.

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  (250): i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting. http://tfl.nu/gwdw
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  We got so high we made milksteak

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  (250): We got so high we made milksteak http://tfl.nu/iyv5
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  Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.

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  (250): Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap. http://tfl.nu/f3x1
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  He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."

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  (250): He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that." http://tfl.nu/vmd9
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  i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.

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  (250): i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay. http://tfl.nu/ht4h
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  I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA

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  (250): I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA http://tfl.nu/zqva
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  my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on

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  (250): my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on http://tfl.nu/e38v
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  Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.

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  (250): Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward. http://tfl.nu/w09f
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  found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.

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  (250): found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life. http://tfl.nu/4h73
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  Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere

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  (250): Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere http://tfl.nu/ftm6
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  Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.

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  I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.

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  (250): Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you. (1-250): I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this. http://tfl.nu/x6e9
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  even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.

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  (250): even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real. http://tfl.nu/de62
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  note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...

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  (250): note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex... http://tfl.nu/vx0w
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