Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (801)

Last Night in Utah (801)

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(801): View more from Utah

She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.

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(801): She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime. http://tfl.nu/hokk

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What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."

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(801): What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director." http://tfl.nu/kql1

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I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.

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(801): I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl. http://tfl.nu/k0v0

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You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?

(650): View more from California

I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.

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(801): You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address? (650): I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days. http://tfl.nu/fel9

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(801): View more from Utah

I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.

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(801): I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird. http://tfl.nu/5cem

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(801): View more from Utah

fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.

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(801): fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering. http://tfl.nu/0c1c

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(801): View more from Utah

let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.

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(801): let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room. http://tfl.nu/h78r

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Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.

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(801): Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice. http://tfl.nu/sj9z

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"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.

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(801): "Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much. http://tfl.nu/4lhq

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It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).

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(801): It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word). http://tfl.nu/10dp

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Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.

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(801): Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight. http://tfl.nu/rr81

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(801): View more from Utah

hey, what are you doing tonight?

(646): View more from New York

sleeping, g'night!

(801): View more from Utah

but i wanted to see you :(

(646): View more from New York

sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!

(646): View more from New York

stop - you have a right hand - use it!

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(801): hey, what are you doing tonight? (646): sleeping, g'night! (801): but i wanted to see you :( (646): sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you! (646): stop - you have a right hand - use it! http://tfl.nu/aj8r

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(801): View more from Utah

You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.

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(801): You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age. http://tfl.nu/6o7l

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I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.

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(801): I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck. http://tfl.nu/p42i

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He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water

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(801): He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water http://tfl.nu/etec

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Last Night in Utah (801)

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