Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (510)

Last Night in California (510)

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(510): View more from California

It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...

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(510): It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house... http://tfl.nu/3wgf

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just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?

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(510): just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction? http://tfl.nu/bfa1

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watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up

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(510): watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up http://tfl.nu/2tfb

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I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.

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(510): I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach. http://tfl.nu/edrh

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one might say we're banned from that church

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(510): one might say we're banned from that church http://tfl.nu/l4dz

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he said he didn't have a condom.

(415): View more from California

and you said?

(510): View more from California

that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.

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(510): he said he didn't have a condom. (415): and you said? (510): that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that. http://tfl.nu/4u76

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You want to go to a white party at LAX

(1-510): View more from California

Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach

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(510): You want to go to a white party at LAX (1-510): Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach http://tfl.nu/866u

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he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.

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(510): he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted. http://tfl.nu/vxmy

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I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...

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(510): I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring... http://tfl.nu/set0

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my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic

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(510): my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic http://tfl.nu/11wq

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I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.

(1-510): View more from California

It was probably Jesus.

(510): View more from California

I feel like he would have left a message.

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(510): I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number. (1-510): It was probably Jesus. (510): I feel like he would have left a message. http://tfl.nu/w24x

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my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice

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(510): my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice http://tfl.nu/x5d6

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I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.

(702): View more from Nevada

Are you high?

(510): View more from California

No. That's why it's odd

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(510): I think I speak chipmunk. Odd. (702): Are you high? (510): No. That's why it's odd http://tfl.nu/ybok

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We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.

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(510): We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP. http://tfl.nu/sbka

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So drunk, too bad you don't want this

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(510): So drunk, too bad you don't want this http://tfl.nu/0z98

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Last Night in California (510)

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