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dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Nicole vs. Life
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