Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Pennsylvania (267)

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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.

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  (215): She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz" (267): So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning. (215): Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again. http://tfl.nu/rcrj
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now

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  (267): i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now http://tfl.nu/0gky
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.

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  (267): In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth. http://tfl.nu/c22r
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to

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  (267): If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to http://tfl.nu/tvy7
  Replies (59) Good night (4777) Bad night (1091)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."

  (716): View more from New York

  lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.

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  (267): Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious." (716): lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus. http://tfl.nu/bbah
  Replies (4) Good night (561) Bad night (1815)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer

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  (267): My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer http://tfl.nu/qmj6
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Hey kate, how is it?

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.

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  (267): Hey kate, how is it? (610): sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving. http://tfl.nu/94qm
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.

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  (267): i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts? (267): i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about. http://tfl.nu/nsac
  Replies (51) Good night (3202) Bad night (841)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.

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  (267): i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing. (215): the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?. http://tfl.nu/zmpd
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.

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  (267): i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE. http://tfl.nu/7rd6
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  wow.

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  yeah, it was that bad.

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  (215): i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me" (267): wow. (215): yeah, it was that bad. http://tfl.nu/hwqj
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!

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  (609): Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?! (267): This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room.. (609): AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?! http://tfl.nu/dtle
  Replies (37) Good night (604) Bad night (3452)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you

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  (267): census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you http://tfl.nu/5ryg
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram

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  (267): worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram http://tfl.nu/sbpo
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.

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  (267): Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome. http://tfl.nu/u178
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