Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (813)

Last Night in Florida (813)

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I'm fucking your sister right now.

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You motherfucker

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She's next.

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(813): I'm fucking your sister right now. (1-813): You motherfucker (813): She's next. http://tfl.nu/gaup

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I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.

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(813): I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me. http://tfl.nu/z6eo

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y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.

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(813): y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all. http://tfl.nu/2iln

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I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?

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(813): I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this? http://tfl.nu/o9lt

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yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing

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(813): yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing http://tfl.nu/tarj

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Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.

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I ordered a moonbounce.

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Fuck, you win.

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(813): Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party. (1-813): I ordered a moonbounce. (813): Fuck, you win. http://tfl.nu/qedv

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my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me

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(813): my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me http://tfl.nu/uytx

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If you die in college, do you die in real life?

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(813): If you die in college, do you die in real life? http://tfl.nu/s9pw

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How am I a tease?

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Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.

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ONLY PART OF IT.

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(813): How am I a tease? (1-813): Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away. (813): ONLY PART OF IT. http://tfl.nu/b7xa

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so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw

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(813): so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw http://tfl.nu/9zj1

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I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.

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Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.

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(813): I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type. (1-813): Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type. http://tfl.nu/055q

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I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."

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(813): I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit." http://tfl.nu/z2kp

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right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.

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only on the fourth of july.

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(813): right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming. (1-813): only on the fourth of july. http://tfl.nu/s13z

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We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.

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(813): We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response. http://tfl.nu/3ka8

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watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide

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(813): watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide http://tfl.nu/fnhs

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Last Night in Florida (813)

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