Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Texas (512)

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  things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"

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  I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.

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  (512): things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over" (210): I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback. http://tfl.nu/pi9n
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  The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore

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  (512): The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore http://tfl.nu/9q9y
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  I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck

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  (512): I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck http://tfl.nu/fgif
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  You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.

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  (512): You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk. http://tfl.nu/ypfw
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  Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"

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  (512): Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants" http://tfl.nu/ccmr
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  well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?

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  (512): well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...? http://tfl.nu/6jqe
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  I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...

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  Cross faded me is not the classiest.

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  No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that

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  (512): I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed... (512): Cross faded me is not the classiest. (817): No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that http://tfl.nu/rzqz
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  Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.

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  I found Cheetos.

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  (512): Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life. (512): I found Cheetos. http://tfl.nu/4vfh
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  Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.

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  (512): Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man. http://tfl.nu/fxpn
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  Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.

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  (512): Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess. http://tfl.nu/vcjk
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  Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?

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  (512): Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen? http://tfl.nu/ijzr
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  I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.

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  Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?

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  It was just one of those nights, man.

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  (512): I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something. (1-512): Why was his mouth around your nose anyways? (512): It was just one of those nights, man. http://tfl.nu/4s6y
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  just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!

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  (512): just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor! http://tfl.nu/pz4b
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  Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?

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  (512): Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night? http://tfl.nu/ccoz
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  dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts

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  (512): dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts http://tfl.nu/md3j
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