Texts From Last Night

sexymofo's Favorites Texts:

Sort By: Date Favorited / Date Posted / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?

  (1-330): View more from Ohio

  she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): why is there cat hair all over my deoderant? (1-330): she wanted to smell more freshershest than you. http://tfl.nu/rk6z
  Replies (33) Good night (5641) Bad night (1455) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (260): View more from Indiana

  A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (260): A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him http://tfl.nu/k8ud
  Replies (25) Good night (1513) Bad night (6399) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.

  (1-352): View more from Florida

  What?

  (352): View more from Florida

  Just dont open the beer drawer.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (352): Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge. (1-352): What? (352): Just dont open the beer drawer. http://tfl.nu/02la
  Replies (16) Good night (1501) Bad night (5611)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you

  (917): View more from New York City

  Those had pot in them

  (917): View more from New York City

  And good luck on your interview asshole

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you (917): Those had pot in them (917): And good luck on your interview asshole http://tfl.nu/911g
  Replies (51) Good night (17131) Bad night (1405)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes http://tfl.nu/v9u0
  Replies (13) Good night (6030) Bad night (942) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job http://tfl.nu/ki5a
  Replies (45) Good night (4564) Bad night (1657) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (218): Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion. http://tfl.nu/1y37
  Replies (23) Good night (5108) Bad night (901) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it http://tfl.nu/9xaf
  Replies (36) Good night (6903) Bad night (1100) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills http://tfl.nu/tub1
  Replies (25) Good night (6821) Bad night (1592) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (585): I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys. http://tfl.nu/354b
  Replies (19) Good night (5298) Bad night (1668) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right. http://tfl.nu/nc3r
  Replies (14) Good night (4056) Bad night (846) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  my cup is half full, half full of rum.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): my cup is half full, half full of rum. http://tfl.nu/ajky
  Replies (11) Good night (5224) Bad night (748) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official. http://tfl.nu/00ts
  Replies (14) Good night (1102) Bad night (4730) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (740): you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god http://tfl.nu/byer
  Replies (25) Good night (7387) Bad night (893) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas. http://tfl.nu/b72z
  Replies (31) Good night (11856) Bad night (1139) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized. http://tfl.nu/cbfh
  Replies (11) Good night (4868) Bad night (759) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (352): i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE http://tfl.nu/5phb
  Replies (184) Good night (51672) Bad night (2294)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (785): There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob. http://tfl.nu/pwq0
  Replies (26) Good night (4495) Bad night (2304) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (419): I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said http://tfl.nu/s0mp
  Replies (21) Good night (4573) Bad night (1007) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (954): hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot. http://tfl.nu/3jpd
  Replies (22) Good night (6885) Bad night (942) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it. http://tfl.nu/pcok
  Replies (24) Good night (5311) Bad night (796) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince". http://tfl.nu/a6t0
  Replies (34) Good night (5617) Bad night (6342) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (+90): View more from Turkey

  Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+90): Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university http://tfl.nu/62fc
  Replies (34) Good night (2784) Bad night (461) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit http://tfl.nu/hok4
  Replies (38) Good night (727) Bad night (8522)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (403): So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint. http://tfl.nu/8aqq
  Replies (17) Good night (4312) Bad night (454) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant. http://tfl.nu/hikv
  Replies (1) Good night (1898) Bad night (592) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog. http://tfl.nu/73qd
  Replies (444) Good night (112393) Bad night (9779) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I would do horrible things to your vagina.

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Prove it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): I would do horrible things to your vagina. (978): Prove it. http://tfl.nu/qld3
  Replies (182) Good night (93620) Bad night (4623)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Haym$ered

  (734): View more from Michigan

  turn off your phone and go to bed

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): Haym$ered (734): turn off your phone and go to bed http://tfl.nu/2w37
  Replies (7) Good night (1363) Bad night (410)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (586): Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number http://tfl.nu/4mkf
  Replies (5) Good night (1772) Bad night (454)