Texts From Last Night

RedHeadedHottie's Favorites Texts:

Sort By: Date Favorited / Date Posted / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me http://tfl.nu/nasi
  Replies (23) Good night (6001) Bad night (1543) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (316): I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock. http://tfl.nu/nmgr
  Replies (16) Good night (3644) Bad night (598) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook. http://tfl.nu/p6bz
  Replies (15) Good night (7979) Bad night (1069) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon. http://tfl.nu/t0p2
  Replies (5) Good night (4590) Bad night (1339) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (650): Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother" http://tfl.nu/4czs
  Replies (13) Good night (6804) Bad night (1811) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night. http://tfl.nu/ytje
  Replies (7) Good night (3888) Bad night (1100) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow http://tfl.nu/myf2
  Replies (10) Good night (3962) Bad night (936) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (731): View more from Tennessee

  Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (731): Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?! http://tfl.nu/umwb
  Replies (7) Good night (3781) Bad night (1062) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (509): i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it http://tfl.nu/wiu8
  Replies (29) Good night (6811) Bad night (1115)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck. http://tfl.nu/bfx0
  Replies (23) Good night (1226) Bad night (3612) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls. http://tfl.nu/e2rh
  Replies (29) Good night (5687) Bad night (1073) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not. http://tfl.nu/jtsf
  Replies (14) Good night (7490) Bad night (747) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (+45): View more from Denmark

  Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+45): Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired. http://tfl.nu/rbaa
  Replies (9) Good night (4914) Bad night (918) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore http://tfl.nu/eivb
  Replies (24) Good night (5179) Bad night (886) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format? http://tfl.nu/bwcb
  Replies (26) Good night (11195) Bad night (1344) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (408): he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink." http://tfl.nu/8gq0
  Replies (25) Good night (3460) Bad night (6046) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (828): Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis http://tfl.nu/fz5v
  Replies (6) Good night (5824) Bad night (651) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on? http://tfl.nu/pffh
  Replies (54) Good night (9897) Bad night (867) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted. http://tfl.nu/yox0
  Replies (27) Good night (7861) Bad night (1007)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (937): Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate http://tfl.nu/e0yr
  Replies (22) Good night (7526) Bad night (1224) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (952): I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me. http://tfl.nu/xnge
  Replies (55) Good night (10441) Bad night (1117) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can. http://tfl.nu/8tit
  Replies (21) Good night (14410) Bad night (1111) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (708): I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them http://tfl.nu/hbhk
  Replies (8) Good night (4057) Bad night (944) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  You can't have your penis and eat it, too.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): You can't have your penis and eat it, too. http://tfl.nu/3eoi
  Replies (14) Good night (2231) Bad night (991) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy http://tfl.nu/o6xr
  Replies (14) Good night (1134) Bad night (2813) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (419): then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!" http://tfl.nu/taup
  Replies (10) Good night (4224) Bad night (709) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (562): Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics http://tfl.nu/ne8m
  Replies (16) Good night (4145) Bad night (736)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (605): You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home. http://tfl.nu/7njn
  Replies (30) Good night (10382) Bad night (794) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  So....maintenance found the bullethole.....

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): So....maintenance found the bullethole..... http://tfl.nu/54el
  Replies (21) Good night (5205) Bad night (2179) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (432): View more from Texas

  Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (432): Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat" http://tfl.nu/ofhr
  Replies (20) Good night (9212) Bad night (892) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name. http://tfl.nu/83o9
  Replies (22) Good night (5426) Bad night (775) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (679): View more from Michigan

  You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.

  (679): View more from Michigan

  You really are best friends.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (679): You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road. (679): You really are best friends. http://tfl.nu/zi1s
  Replies (20) Good night (6392) Bad night (1026)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating. http://tfl.nu/umg8
  Replies (34) Good night (17060) Bad night (1407) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (904): Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up. http://tfl.nu/3e3n
  Replies (12) Good night (3923) Bad night (922) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps... http://tfl.nu/7lmv
  Replies (15) Good night (2374) Bad night (4141) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (419): The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. . http://tfl.nu/zh9v
  Replies (24) Good night (7428) Bad night (888) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm. http://tfl.nu/al4b
  Replies (8) Good night (6941) Bad night (1162) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location http://tfl.nu/jdkq
  Replies (16) Good night (9245) Bad night (1026) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (949): Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN. http://tfl.nu/2o4b
  Replies (33) Good night (14206) Bad night (1203) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night http://tfl.nu/nbdz
  Replies (13) Good night (1454) Bad night (4190) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot

  (313): View more from Michigan

  He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (313): I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot (313): He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all http://tfl.nu/6st3
  Replies (23) Good night (7545) Bad night (744)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does" http://tfl.nu/16y8
  Replies (16) Good night (1710) Bad night (6482) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (305): MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like. http://tfl.nu/d99s
  Replies (17) Good night (1252) Bad night (5406) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night. http://tfl.nu/wu2q
  Replies (20) Good night (1093) Bad night (5367) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (937): Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies. http://tfl.nu/1bgy
  Replies (29) Good night (1116) Bad night (6397)
• Favorite

  (778): View more from British Columbia

  I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (778): I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college http://tfl.nu/2nnj
  Replies (13) Good night (4407) Bad night (1458) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (785): he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense http://tfl.nu/p2yr
  Replies (26) Good night (8222) Bad night (1078) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.

  (540): View more from Virginia

  You guys make me sad

  (703): View more from Virginia

  You misspelled jealous there

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone. (540): You guys make me sad (703): You misspelled jealous there http://tfl.nu/wtst
  Replies (23) Good night (11499) Bad night (1198)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n http://tfl.nu/pe4m
  Replies (21) Good night (11876) Bad night (1012) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (812): You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party http://tfl.nu/gmt6
  Replies (10) Good night (5776) Bad night (1208) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (510): Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay http://tfl.nu/s2rn
  Replies (65) Good night (20506) Bad night (1812) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (918): when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace. http://tfl.nu/irh2
  Replies (39) Good night (16110) Bad night (1235)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (256): I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics. http://tfl.nu/u31h
  Replies (25) Good night (5460) Bad night (990) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (803): Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear. http://tfl.nu/2r4l
  Replies (18) Good night (7588) Bad night (964) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (719): I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today" http://tfl.nu/2j14
  Replies (26) Good night (2943) Bad night (6157) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it. http://tfl.nu/akrg
  Replies (16) Good night (5678) Bad night (987) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.' http://tfl.nu/mde3
  Replies (248) Good night (66709) Bad night (2996) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!" http://tfl.nu/vlcz
  Replies (46) Good night (15963) Bad night (1068) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.

  (1405): View more from

  I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie. (1405): I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes? http://tfl.nu/u9sc
  Replies (47) Good night (10019) Bad night (850) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home http://tfl.nu/ug2x
  Replies (76) Good night (7305) Bad night (585) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (757): At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP." http://tfl.nu/p091
  Replies (297) Good night (73372) Bad night (2464) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (626): View more from California

  you didnt know i had herpes?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (626): you didnt know i had herpes? http://tfl.nu/e6ph
  Replies (104) Good night (1395) Bad night (37492) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (727): I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what? http://tfl.nu/li5i
  Replies (37) Good night (5096) Bad night (1977) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (979): View more from Texas

  I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (979): I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed http://tfl.nu/k1m0
  Replies (19) Good night (4584) Bad night (515) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ". http://tfl.nu/tf5y
  Replies (386) Good night (40794) Bad night (3882)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (727): Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons... http://tfl.nu/8jcz
  Replies (16) Good night (4472) Bad night (873) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (225): things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control. http://tfl.nu/aw3o
  Replies (36) Good night (6125) Bad night (721) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.

  (1-973): View more from New Jersey

  Guess she heard her killer coming

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear. (1-973): Guess she heard her killer coming http://tfl.nu/u45m
  Replies (116) Good night (46413) Bad night (2025) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba" http://tfl.nu/uoap
  Replies (833) Good night (142143) Bad night (9312) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  what?

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn (952): what? (612): i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn http://tfl.nu/vdma
  Replies (29) Good night (7604) Bad night (715)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section http://tfl.nu/5gr0
  Replies (1628) Good night (168250) Bad night (42156) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever. http://tfl.nu/p67s
  Replies (179) Good night (85888) Bad night (3074) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  I'm fucking your sister right now.

  (1-813): View more from Florida

  You motherfucker

  (813): View more from Florida

  She's next.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): I'm fucking your sister right now. (1-813): You motherfucker (813): She's next. http://tfl.nu/gaup
  Replies (152) Good night (65378) Bad night (3435)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  super hot butfun

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (832): super hot butfun (832): Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make. http://tfl.nu/zsez
  Replies (11) Good night (2934) Bad night (501)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.

  (1-847): View more from Illinois

  How was it?

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Fantastic, but that's not the point.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me. (1-847): How was it? (847): Fantastic, but that's not the point. http://tfl.nu/muuk
  Replies (204) Good night (86446) Bad night (7098)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  the red head has a bf

  (1-843): View more from South Carolina

  just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (843): the red head has a bf (1-843): just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score http://tfl.nu/bdta
  Replies (118) Good night (44951) Bad night (3380) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  Can I come over?

  (786): View more from Florida

  Can't... I'm at class right now.

  (305): View more from Florida

  No your not

  (305): View more from Florida

  I'm outside by your car.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (305): Can I come over? (786): Can't... I'm at class right now. (305): No your not (305): I'm outside by your car. http://tfl.nu/le7d
  Replies (21) Good night (574) Bad night (1965)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  look no pants

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): look no pants http://tfl.nu/j078
  Replies (4) Good night (1427) Bad night (423) Order T-Shirt