Texts From Last Night

KesJaye's Favorites Texts:

Sort By: Date Favorited / Date Posted / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax." http://tfl.nu/odgz
  Replies (25) Good night (930) Bad night (6010) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before http://tfl.nu/47j4
  Replies (16) Good night (3634) Bad night (1222) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (949): im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever http://tfl.nu/2bk7
  Replies (28) Good night (4663) Bad night (776) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love. http://tfl.nu/r7jm
  Replies (19) Good night (5886) Bad night (792) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): I lost count of how many people I peed on last night. http://tfl.nu/e9nm
  Replies (20) Good night (1733) Bad night (4303) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (479): He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana." http://tfl.nu/t5zw
  Replies (35) Good night (1592) Bad night (4003) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper" http://tfl.nu/17it
  Replies (22) Good night (1239) Bad night (3191) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (972): 85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing. http://tfl.nu/910d
  Replies (13) Good night (779) Bad night (6205) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (217): Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights http://tfl.nu/27p8
  Replies (21) Good night (2976) Bad night (2347) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (830): View more from Texas

  You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (830): You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy http://tfl.nu/g7o4
  Replies (12) Good night (4134) Bad night (936) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys http://tfl.nu/u1dh
  Replies (21) Good night (1193) Bad night (3524) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high... http://tfl.nu/j3oh
  Replies (55) Good night (5654) Bad night (1294) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats. http://tfl.nu/gybz
  Replies (35) Good night (1222) Bad night (3977) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk. http://tfl.nu/30xs
  Replies (38) Good night (10437) Bad night (941) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (515): So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry. http://tfl.nu/0btw
  Replies (13) Good night (8609) Bad night (887)
• Favorite

  (+91): View more from India

  Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+91): Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not. http://tfl.nu/eg4c
  Replies (34) Good night (1421) Bad night (3725) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls. http://tfl.nu/jh5k
  Replies (17) Good night (667) Bad night (3510) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing. http://tfl.nu/bnv5
  Replies (33) Good night (5360) Bad night (1110) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (419): if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight http://tfl.nu/1a1e
  Replies (11) Good night (3657) Bad night (781) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show. http://tfl.nu/9mds
  Replies (16) Good night (3663) Bad night (699) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (605): I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF? http://tfl.nu/tx7k
  Replies (14) Good night (5696) Bad night (922) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (713): Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming. http://tfl.nu/lyy1
  Replies (27) Good night (2719) Bad night (1504) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?

  (734): View more from Michigan

  She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (313): Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award? (734): She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy. http://tfl.nu/0kwr
  Replies (33) Good night (970) Bad night (2785)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown. http://tfl.nu/l3ul
  Replies (49) Good night (2184) Bad night (5215) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke. http://tfl.nu/r10e
  Replies (27) Good night (4739) Bad night (1095) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles. http://tfl.nu/usa7
  Replies (27) Good night (1828) Bad night (5570) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid. http://tfl.nu/mefj
  Replies (38) Good night (7442) Bad night (1148) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid http://tfl.nu/u0xl
  Replies (18) Good night (3171) Bad night (996) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (336): Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex. http://tfl.nu/1j3r
  Replies (36) Good night (900) Bad night (5834) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (228): View more from Mississippi

  She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (228): She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her http://tfl.nu/4rsn
  Replies (15) Good night (3272) Bad night (1541) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (305): We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had. http://tfl.nu/tauu
  Replies (26) Good night (5511) Bad night (769) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat http://tfl.nu/ufc8
  Replies (24) Good night (2246) Bad night (3207) Order T-Shirt