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and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
sarcasm needs its own font
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
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