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i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
someone owes me an orgasm
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
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