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he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
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