Texts From Last Night · x13kmgb's Favorites

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x13kmgb's Favorites Texts:

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(314): View more from Missouri

So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...

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(519): View more from Ontario

and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"

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(516): View more from New York

Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(516): View more from New York

How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?

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(516): View more from New York

you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.

(1-516): View more from New York

right. well we all have our lows.

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(516): View more from New York

so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry

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(516): View more from New York

I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.

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