Texts From Last Night · twilight_freak92's Favorites

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twilight_freak92's Favorites Texts:

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(661): View more from California

When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience

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(612): View more from Minnesota

I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..

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(817): View more from Texas

I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.

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(856): View more from New Jersey

he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

no pressure.

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(970): View more from Colorado

There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun

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(661): View more from California

Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning

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