Texts From Last Night · theAmazingOne's Favorites

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theAmazingOne's Favorites Texts:

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(661): View more from California

He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!

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(334): View more from Alabama

It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.

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(613): View more from Ontario

She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.

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(410): View more from Maryland

If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(757): View more from Virginia

i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...

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(602): View more from Arizona

After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.

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(415): View more from California

There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.

(415): View more from California

No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans

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(201): View more from New Jersey

He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.

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