Texts From Last Night · strrrphish's Favorites

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strrrphish's Favorites Texts:

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(545): View more from

You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.

Fav 1 1238 689
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(803): View more from South Carolina

Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.

Fav 7 896 534
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(240): View more from Maryland

I swear they were about to hook up!!

(1-240): View more from Maryland

I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.

Fav 5 2125 867
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(970): View more from Colorado

I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.

Fav 1 1300 523
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(678): View more from Georgia

I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.

Fav 5 1529 790
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(916): View more from California

I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.

(1-916): View more from California

Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.

Fav 4 2907 817
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(231): View more from Michigan

That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.

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(520): View more from Arizona

you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab

Fav 4 2002 1101
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