Texts From Last Night

sssmarie's Favorites Texts:

Sort By: Date Favorited / Date Posted / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (918): Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter! http://tfl.nu/uf3h
  Replies (12) Good night (733) Bad night (1374) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (336): Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned http://tfl.nu/hhst
  Replies (4) Good night (1103) Bad night (1745) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos. http://tfl.nu/qg1c
  Replies (7) Good night (1611) Bad night (430) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (724): I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now. http://tfl.nu/lvrq
  Replies (5) Good night (1989) Bad night (420) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (848): View more from New Jersey

  Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (848): Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired. http://tfl.nu/ghfv
  Replies (8) Good night (2118) Bad night (392) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.

  (360): View more from Washington

  DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid. (360): DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY. http://tfl.nu/38em
  Replies (8) Good night (2435) Bad night (365)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride. http://tfl.nu/vs7z
  Replies (8) Good night (1586) Bad night (1053) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (260): View more from Indiana

  Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (260): Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens. http://tfl.nu/pxin
  Replies (31) Good night (11293) Bad night (1035) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace. http://tfl.nu/dayc
  Replies (4) Good night (1104) Bad night (352)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (419): i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid http://tfl.nu/fwn3
  Replies (10) Good night (1632) Bad night (520) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (571): View more from Virginia

  I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (571): I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone. http://tfl.nu/igvc
  Replies (9) Good night (1016) Bad night (567) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis http://tfl.nu/bzb9
  Replies (4) Good night (895) Bad night (549) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (514): View more from Quebec

  So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (514): So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe. http://tfl.nu/whvh
  Replies (9) Good night (1790) Bad night (518) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs http://tfl.nu/mobo
  Replies (6) Good night (641) Bad night (1819) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (313): Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had. http://tfl.nu/aqg4
  Replies (0) Good night (1081) Bad night (389) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision. http://tfl.nu/yqhh
  Replies (19) Good night (4971) Bad night (601) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again. http://tfl.nu/fk6d
  Replies (13) Good night (739) Bad night (1010) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (419): Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?" http://tfl.nu/fz6y
  Replies (26) Good night (866) Bad night (4435) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies" http://tfl.nu/wh5q
  Replies (24) Good night (10772) Bad night (1249) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.

  (1-734): View more from Michigan

  what was she crying about?

  (734): View more from Michigan

  i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle. (1-734): what was she crying about? (734): i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job. http://tfl.nu/fomm
  Replies (47) Good night (14289) Bad night (1655)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  I think I sprained my soul last night

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): I think I sprained my soul last night http://tfl.nu/779v
  Replies (11) Good night (2262) Bad night (683) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people. http://tfl.nu/uumz
  Replies (24) Good night (5867) Bad night (1038)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (317): I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you." http://tfl.nu/oa2r
  Replies (13) Good night (3774) Bad night (539) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down http://tfl.nu/yeuq
  Replies (206) Good night (51688) Bad night (2730) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart http://tfl.nu/al7w
  Replies (182) Good night (51516) Bad night (1868)