Texts From Last Night · salazar1987's Favorites

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salazar1987's Favorites Texts:

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(561): View more from Florida

am i new drunk or am i still drunk

Fav 3 995 558
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(516): View more from New York

Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.

Fav 16 3298 907
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed

Fav 127 131146 3910
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(614): View more from Ohio

My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.

Fav 14 2957 888
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(336): View more from North Carolina

You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.

Fav 6 1617 661
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(224): View more from Illinois

Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.

Fav 13 1636 753
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(214): View more from Texas

Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.

Fav 6 1239 652
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(678): View more from Georgia

You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.

(404): View more from Georgia

I'm a corrupt cop.

Fav 4 2184 814
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