Texts From Last Night · randomize's Favorites

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randomize's Favorites Texts:

Sort By: Date Favorited / Date Posted / Good Night / Bad Night

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(301): View more from Maryland

She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....

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(720): View more from Colorado

She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her

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(810): View more from Michigan

According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(973): View more from New Jersey

how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.

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(217): View more from Illinois

The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"

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