Texts From Last Night

nyhc17's Favorites Texts:

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  (308): View more from Nebraska

  I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad

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  (308): I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad http://tfl.nu/3y6v
  Replies (101) Good night (3757) Bad night (66468) Order T-Shirt
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.

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  (571): So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder. http://tfl.nu/3ets
  Replies (275) Good night (4051) Bad night (68261)
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  (212): View more from New York

  i want you now

  (916): View more from California

  you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this

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  (212): i want you now (916): you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this http://tfl.nu/8egt
  Replies (148) Good night (6883) Bad night (69193)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.

  (1-404): View more from Georgia

  Two?

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Two.

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  (404): Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs. (1-404): Two? (404): Two. http://tfl.nu/opzf
  Replies (260) Good night (3959) Bad night (78180)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.

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  (617): dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick. http://tfl.nu/lewu
  Replies (258) Good night (4540) Bad night (79588) Order T-Shirt
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...

  (1-609): View more from New Jersey

  and?

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  RIP clitoris

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  (609): I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there... (1-609): and? (609): RIP clitoris http://tfl.nu/1ub6
  Replies (595) Good night (4817) Bad night (101275)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.

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  (905): I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now. http://tfl.nu/wxpj
  Replies (35) Good night (15100) Bad night (1258) Order T-Shirt
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)

  (1-410): View more from Maryland

  stop writing like that.

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  (410): hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;) (1-410): stop writing like that. http://tfl.nu/yu8k
  Replies (25) Good night (6639) Bad night (1156) Order T-Shirt
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."

  (716): View more from New York

  lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.

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  (267): Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious." (716): lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus. http://tfl.nu/bbah
  Replies (4) Good night (561) Bad night (1815)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....

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  (252): it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby.... http://tfl.nu/2jxq
  Replies (16) Good night (2618) Bad night (3699) Order T-Shirt
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by

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  (970): You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by http://tfl.nu/7cd3
  Replies (13) Good night (3896) Bad night (880) Order T-Shirt
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.

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  (301): Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover. http://tfl.nu/klzl
  Replies (21) Good night (6157) Bad night (1141) Order T-Shirt
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  What tipped you off? The sombrero?

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  (614): What tipped you off? The sombrero? http://tfl.nu/yqu3
  Replies (11) Good night (4616) Bad night (551) Order T-Shirt
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it

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  (724): It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it http://tfl.nu/fti9
  Replies (11) Good night (4968) Bad night (834) Order T-Shirt
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.

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  (828): I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick. http://tfl.nu/fiht
  Replies (34) Good night (6071) Bad night (1556) Order T-Shirt
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge

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  (828): then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge http://tfl.nu/hh8c
  Replies (10) Good night (4086) Bad night (1111) Order T-Shirt