Texts From Last Night · mrmuff's Favorites

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mrmuff's Favorites Texts:

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.

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(912): View more from Georgia

It's not kidnapping if it's romantic

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(519): View more from Ontario

Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.

(416): View more from Toronto

Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!

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(207): View more from Maine

Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(360): View more from Washington

I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room

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(845): View more from New York

I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.

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(845): View more from New York

I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.

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(803): View more from South Carolina

Why am I in a dog kennel?

(1-803): View more from South Carolina

It was for your own safety

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