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I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
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