Texts From Last Night · jkayfarm's Favorites

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jkayfarm's Favorites Texts:

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(619): View more from California

I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.

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(512): View more from Texas

I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.

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(541): View more from Oregon

theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?

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(804): View more from Virginia

My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(860): View more from Connecticut

This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.

(802): View more from Vermont

So basically you were a dog.

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(678): View more from Georgia

Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!

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(860): View more from Connecticut

We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.

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(909): View more from California

The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.

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