Texts From Last Night · hefner's Favorites

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hefner's Favorites Texts:

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(316): View more from Kansas

I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"

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(651): View more from Minnesota

How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?

Fav 22 5426 1937
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(413): View more from Massachusetts

She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list

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(303): View more from Colorado

You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.

(1-303): View more from Colorado

ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.

Fav 17 13201 2111
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(440): View more from Ohio

We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.

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(260): View more from Indiana

Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five

Fav 44 3424 8335
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(313): View more from Michigan

How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...

Fav 29 7420 3064
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(647): View more from Ontario

Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville

Fav 13 3371 1280
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