Texts From Last Night

eyitsericaOh7's Favorites Texts:

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  (949): View more from California

  Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life

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  (949): Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life http://tfl.nu/meh0
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.

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  (440): just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me. http://tfl.nu/8ykb
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  (518): View more from New York

  I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before

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  (518): I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before http://tfl.nu/9107
  Replies (20) Good night (5169) Bad night (1103)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris

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  (905): She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris http://tfl.nu/nmbr
  Replies (43) Good night (8678) Bad night (1084) Order T-Shirt
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle

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  (314): just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle http://tfl.nu/572m
  Replies (9) Good night (5033) Bad night (672) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.

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  (203): They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court. http://tfl.nu/8rt0
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up

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  (412): I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up http://tfl.nu/fu0m
  Replies (22) Good night (5275) Bad night (2599) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.

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  (617): it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina. http://tfl.nu/7xv1
  Replies (14) Good night (1154) Bad night (4214) Order T-Shirt
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.

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  (336): You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed. http://tfl.nu/cedv
  Replies (101) Good night (9661) Bad night (998) Order T-Shirt
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'

  (740): View more from Ohio

  i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.

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  (614): so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you' (740): i literally fucking hate you so fucking much. http://tfl.nu/7yl2
  Replies (82) Good night (33424) Bad night (1288)
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  (979): View more from Texas

  You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands

  (713): View more from Texas

  When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things

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  (979): You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands (713): When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things http://tfl.nu/2j2p
  Replies (28) Good night (5342) Bad night (769)
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  (315): View more from New York

  Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.

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  (315): Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end. http://tfl.nu/1db0
  Replies (21) Good night (1644) Bad night (4106) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.

  (303): View more from Colorado

  well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you

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  (303): I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like. (303): well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you http://tfl.nu/sccs
  Replies (12) Good night (856) Bad night (4505)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.

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  (317): I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment. http://tfl.nu/sxji
  Replies (13) Good night (5049) Bad night (786) Order T-Shirt
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic

  (1-402): View more from Nebraska

  i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.

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  (402): yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic (1-402): i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities. http://tfl.nu/psst
  Replies (70) Good night (7865) Bad night (1482) Order T-Shirt
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod

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  (859): i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod http://tfl.nu/ur38
  Replies (11) Good night (5438) Bad night (693) Order T-Shirt
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook

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  (+44): If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook http://tfl.nu/6gha
  Replies (8) Good night (5540) Bad night (878) Order T-Shirt
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen

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  (201): there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen http://tfl.nu/0xt9
  Replies (17) Good night (5474) Bad night (833) Order T-Shirt
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  (818): View more from California

  apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"

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  (818): apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today" http://tfl.nu/nsmf
  Replies (20) Good night (6421) Bad night (2217) Order T-Shirt
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  (862): View more from New Jersey

  i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge

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  (862): i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge http://tfl.nu/uife
  Replies (12) Good night (968) Bad night (3968) Order T-Shirt
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion

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  (651): The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion http://tfl.nu/8885
  Replies (12) Good night (2084) Bad night (4018) Order T-Shirt
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck

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  (540): he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck http://tfl.nu/km3p
  Replies (22) Good night (3631) Bad night (1010) Order T-Shirt
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  (254): View more from Texas

  Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.

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  (254): Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer. http://tfl.nu/oysw
  Replies (16) Good night (2607) Bad night (1028) Order T-Shirt
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  This hangover is way worse than all my relationships

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  (334): This hangover is way worse than all my relationships http://tfl.nu/m3xj
  Replies (6) Good night (950) Bad night (3362) Order T-Shirt
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  (850): View more from Florida

  You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.

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  (850): You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus. http://tfl.nu/vr5q
  Replies (15) Good night (9552) Bad night (825) Order T-Shirt
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.

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  (937): There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich. http://tfl.nu/hmr5
  Replies (28) Good night (16333) Bad night (1212) Order T-Shirt
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  (716): View more from New York

  just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.

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  (716): just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars. http://tfl.nu/fh2v
  Replies (13) Good night (4321) Bad night (735) Order T-Shirt
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I hate the hobo that sits outside our building

  (1-314): View more from Missouri

  Joe or Chris?

  (314): View more from Missouri

  do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?

  (1-314): View more from Missouri

  well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.

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  (314): I hate the hobo that sits outside our building (1-314): Joe or Chris? (314): do i even wanna kno y u kno their names? (1-314): well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye. http://tfl.nu/9vla
  Replies (17) Good night (8028) Bad night (975)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that

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  (508): I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that http://tfl.nu/gfaw
  Replies (24) Good night (3898) Bad night (1636) Order T-Shirt
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  (585): View more from New York

  She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.

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  (585): She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings. http://tfl.nu/pz3m
  Replies (44) Good night (6633) Bad night (1552) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...

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  (519): Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm... http://tfl.nu/v0t6
  Replies (21) Good night (1028) Bad night (7646) Order T-Shirt
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  (415): View more from California

  Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.

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  (415): Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle. http://tfl.nu/saxv
  Replies (7) Good night (3627) Bad night (1082) Order T-Shirt
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home

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  (513): Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home http://tfl.nu/jyep
  Replies (15) Good night (8371) Bad night (753)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Because ur a stupid bitch

  (1-845): View more from New York

  Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.

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  (845): Because ur a stupid bitch (1-845): Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch. http://tfl.nu/0sjk
  Replies (54) Good night (11188) Bad night (1074) Order T-Shirt
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.

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  (401): she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride. http://tfl.nu/b4k2
  Replies (79) Good night (2017) Bad night (10849) Order T-Shirt
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  dont start drinking without me

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  (215): is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor? (609): dont start drinking without me http://tfl.nu/ofdx
  Replies (47) Good night (4883) Bad night (825)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive

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  (609): imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive http://tfl.nu/r061
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?

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  (603): So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'? http://tfl.nu/2o2u
  Replies (26) Good night (796) Bad night (3624) Order T-Shirt
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  fireball beer pong. youre missing out

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  how is that even possible?

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  ove gloves.

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  be there in ten.

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  (908): fireball beer pong. youre missing out (732): how is that even possible? (908): ove gloves. (732): be there in ten. http://tfl.nu/dpvx
  Replies (30) Good night (8784) Bad night (1011)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class

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  (609): Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class http://tfl.nu/440m
  Replies (29) Good night (9932) Bad night (950) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals

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  (303): just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals http://tfl.nu/h68j
  Replies (33) Good night (8613) Bad night (1184) Order T-Shirt
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  (917): View more from New York City

  i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing

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  (917): i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing http://tfl.nu/u02m
  Replies (21) Good night (5218) Bad night (1747) Order T-Shirt
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  (516): View more from New York

  Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.

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  (516): Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck. http://tfl.nu/ofvx
  Replies (11) Good night (6866) Bad night (732) Order T-Shirt
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  (409): View more from Texas

  We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.

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  (409): We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield. http://tfl.nu/bpsu
  Replies (45) Good night (11132) Bad night (2395) Order T-Shirt
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.

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  (508): My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life. http://tfl.nu/p0ex
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.

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  (407): I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test. http://tfl.nu/drd9
  Replies (17) Good night (5576) Bad night (1066) Order T-Shirt
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.

  (301): View more from Maryland

  I accept this challenge.

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  (410): Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you. (301): I accept this challenge. http://tfl.nu/mbqm
  Replies (60) Good night (18545) Bad night (1691)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  We shouldn"t be alone together

  (606): View more from Kentucky

  you didn"t say that yesterday

  (813): View more from Florida

  you weren't married yesterday

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  (813): We shouldn"t be alone together (606): you didn"t say that yesterday (813): you weren't married yesterday http://tfl.nu/oykj
  Replies (41) Good night (1671) Bad night (8820)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.

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  (717): I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this. http://tfl.nu/8qff
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator

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  (781): the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator http://tfl.nu/8mwn
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night

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  (270): It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night http://tfl.nu/y9wt
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  (516): View more from New York

  I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"

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  (516): I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs" http://tfl.nu/07qw
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.

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  (814): What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners." (423): Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A. (814): No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay. http://tfl.nu/o5wb
  Replies (23) Good night (9227) Bad night (1132)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it

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  (503): I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it http://tfl.nu/jqdj
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.

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  (920): Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep. http://tfl.nu/o54g
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  (904): View more from Florida

  he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up

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  (904): he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up http://tfl.nu/1mju
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".

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  (616): he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail". http://tfl.nu/2qss
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  (760): View more from California

  i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have

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  (760): i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have http://tfl.nu/ddny
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."

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  (970): Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college." http://tfl.nu/qe42
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches

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  (412): I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches http://tfl.nu/0tvi
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes

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  (610): I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes http://tfl.nu/4awr
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.

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  (240): stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing. http://tfl.nu/y30j
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".

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  (404): i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ". http://tfl.nu/tf5y
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..

  (1-248): View more from Michigan

  Who?

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Chris brown

  (1-248): View more from Michigan

  No way... I bet he was intense

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two

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  (248): You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to.. (1-248): Who? (248): Chris brown (1-248): No way... I bet he was intense (248): Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two http://tfl.nu/q7w2
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.

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  (219): Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night. http://tfl.nu/jfm9
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.

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  (507): i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches. http://tfl.nu/cp2j
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair

  (573): View more from Missouri

  Found more tequila

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  (573): I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair (573): Found more tequila http://tfl.nu/cg6k
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"

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  (610): I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER. (610): When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!" http://tfl.nu/bnpd
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  (650): View more from California

  dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning

  (805): View more from California

  1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.

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  (650): dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning (805): 1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992. http://tfl.nu/ljqj
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.

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  (206): Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial. http://tfl.nu/2fb2
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Did you fuck her?

  (212): View more from New York

  If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.

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  (703): Did you fuck her? (212): If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that. http://tfl.nu/y42g
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.

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  (703): so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine. http://tfl.nu/s4y5
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  (714): View more from California

  turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker

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  (714): turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker http://tfl.nu/o91j
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?

  (408): View more from California

  oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no

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  (480): I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy? (408): oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no http://tfl.nu/w6ll
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant

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  (301): if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant http://tfl.nu/x9ap
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later

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  (715): We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later http://tfl.nu/4xtv
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  if i died would you start the facebook group?

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  (330): if i died would you start the facebook group? http://tfl.nu/beoo
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  (818): View more from California

  I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.

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  (818): I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here. http://tfl.nu/5v02
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Im watching someone hooking up in the library

  (970): View more from Colorado

  procrastination at its finest

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  (307): Im watching someone hooking up in the library (970): procrastination at its finest http://tfl.nu/d7sa
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  (813): View more from Florida

  I'm fucking your sister right now.

  (1-813): View more from Florida

  You motherfucker

  (813): View more from Florida

  She's next.

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  (813): I'm fucking your sister right now. (1-813): You motherfucker (813): She's next. http://tfl.nu/gaup
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.

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  (610): The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices. http://tfl.nu/tdjd
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.

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  (503): I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats. http://tfl.nu/4me1
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  It's like God shit irony all over that family

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  (703): It's like God shit irony all over that family http://tfl.nu/i9ev
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  (510): View more from California

  I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.

  (1-510): View more from California

  It was probably Jesus.

  (510): View more from California

  I feel like he would have left a message.

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  (510): I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number. (1-510): It was probably Jesus. (510): I feel like he would have left a message. http://tfl.nu/w24x
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?

  (734): View more from Michigan

  nope, you were tallying rejections at the party

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  (313): hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots? (734): nope, you were tallying rejections at the party http://tfl.nu/c1is
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  those are such fre$h shoes

  (1-508): View more from Massachusetts

  going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign

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  (508): those are such fre$h shoes (1-508): going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign http://tfl.nu/bk8p
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!

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  (401): This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan! http://tfl.nu/8a5r
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