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Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Even my vagina gasped.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
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