Texts From Last Night · des1232's Favorites

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des1232's Favorites Texts:

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(510): View more from California

Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"

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(402): View more from Nebraska

I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...

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(325): View more from Texas

Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.

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(316): View more from Kansas

If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(+45): View more from Denmark

Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.

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(925): View more from California

I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom

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(757): View more from Virginia

I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?

(1-918): View more from Oklahoma

Woah.

(918): View more from Oklahoma

that's not how you spell hell yes.

Fav 56 7966 1737
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