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Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
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