Texts From Last Night

danicgirl's Favorites Texts:

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  (360): View more from Washington

  Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.

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  (360): Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever. http://tfl.nu/hma8
  Replies (23) Good night (2607) Bad night (599) Order T-Shirt
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"

  (308): View more from Nebraska

  Stop drinking at work.

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  (402): I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit" (308): Stop drinking at work. http://tfl.nu/v2m5
  Replies (8) Good night (3383) Bad night (718)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.

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  (412): yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical. http://tfl.nu/syar
  Replies (27) Good night (1111) Bad night (557) Order T-Shirt
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  (925): View more from California

  He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.

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  (925): He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept. http://tfl.nu/niyr
  Replies (23) Good night (3152) Bad night (513) Order T-Shirt
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  (518): View more from New York

  At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out

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  (518): At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out http://tfl.nu/bjrp
  Replies (5) Good night (1049) Bad night (787)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl

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  (610): she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl http://tfl.nu/lpki
  Replies (60) Good night (697) Bad night (12036) Order T-Shirt
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Sorry. Im on my way.

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  (608): When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face. (262): Sorry. Im on my way. http://tfl.nu/us1r
  Replies (22) Good night (5909) Bad night (733)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)

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  (206): Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :) http://tfl.nu/j8zz
  Replies (20) Good night (3733) Bad night (562)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.

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  (703): I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer. http://tfl.nu/bgxs
  Replies (8) Good night (2576) Bad night (519) Order T-Shirt
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  (716): View more from New York

  As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."

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  (716): As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is." http://tfl.nu/8j8j
  Replies (34) Good night (5642) Bad night (1184) Order T-Shirt
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  (352): View more from Florida

  Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.

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  (352): Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman. http://tfl.nu/vqgs
  Replies (12) Good night (2560) Bad night (502) Order T-Shirt
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.

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  (920): You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day. http://tfl.nu/y8lp
  Replies (9) Good night (2683) Bad night (707) Order T-Shirt
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong

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  (319): Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong http://tfl.nu/nuya
  Replies (6) Good night (3606) Bad night (594) Order T-Shirt
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"

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  (815): I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning" http://tfl.nu/wpur
  Replies (9) Good night (913) Bad night (2509) Order T-Shirt
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.

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  (701): Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle. http://tfl.nu/xafh
  Replies (8) Good night (1187) Bad night (1821) Order T-Shirt
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?

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  (208): You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right? http://tfl.nu/dxzt
  Replies (6) Good night (1969) Bad night (674)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.

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  (614): lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name. http://tfl.nu/tsk6
  Replies (6) Good night (2131) Bad night (627) Order T-Shirt
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.

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  (814): I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him. http://tfl.nu/ieqp
  Replies (15) Good night (3536) Bad night (638) Order T-Shirt
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.

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  (604): I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power. http://tfl.nu/ot62
  Replies (4) Good night (1484) Bad night (782) Order T-Shirt
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.

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  (412): He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead. http://tfl.nu/inh1
  Replies (17) Good night (1073) Bad night (3042) Order T-Shirt