Texts From Last Night · dancerpants's Favorites

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dancerpants's Favorites Texts:

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(303): View more from Colorado

Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.

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(407): View more from Florida

I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.

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(315): View more from New York

yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...

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(775): View more from Nevada

Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(774): View more from Massachusetts

Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual

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(+61): View more from Australia

I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.

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(336): View more from North Carolina

Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth

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(507): View more from Minnesota

you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now

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