Texts From Last Night · danceonyoface's Favorites

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danceonyoface's Favorites Texts:

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(914): View more from New York

Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.

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(847): View more from Illinois

And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.

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(207): View more from Maine

It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(210): View more from Texas

It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here

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(479): View more from Arkansas

We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair

(501): View more from Arkansas

Strong work

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?

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(775): View more from Nevada

Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills

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