Texts From Last Night · cowlesie's Favorites

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cowlesie's Favorites Texts:

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(319): View more from Iowa

For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..

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(937): View more from Ohio

[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.

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(703): View more from Virginia

Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(205): View more from Alabama

I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.

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(416): View more from Toronto

Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.

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(352): View more from Florida

i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE

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(352): View more from Florida

Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.

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