Texts From Last Night

chrmadi's Favorites Texts:

Sort By: Date Favorited / Date Posted / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (916): My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina. http://tfl.nu/c849
  Replies (16) Good night (2501) Bad night (400) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this http://tfl.nu/b4ty
  Replies (8) Good night (2876) Bad night (934) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash. http://tfl.nu/b0ts
  Replies (19) Good night (1983) Bad night (538) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (928): View more from Arizona

  I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (928): I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with. http://tfl.nu/qynz
  Replies (2) Good night (1143) Bad night (859) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake

  (1-561): View more from Florida

  Who the fuck is this

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (561): Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake (1-561): Who the fuck is this http://tfl.nu/nqou
  Replies (13) Good night (4536) Bad night (671) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (731): View more from Tennessee

  all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (731): all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were http://tfl.nu/iffh
  Replies (12) Good night (2453) Bad night (577) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (507): you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now http://tfl.nu/xehl
  Replies (9) Good night (2741) Bad night (817) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (724): Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me. http://tfl.nu/rflf
  Replies (10) Good night (3497) Bad night (973) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.

  (770): View more from Georgia

  Dude. Do it.

  (678): View more from Georgia

  Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out. (770): Dude. Do it. (678): Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober? http://tfl.nu/58ew
  Replies (15) Good night (4253) Bad night (557)
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (316): Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call... http://tfl.nu/fydz
  Replies (16) Good night (2014) Bad night (611) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of. http://tfl.nu/md9p
  Replies (21) Good night (1348) Bad night (2215) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.

  (1-805): View more from California

  watch me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (805): You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard. (1-805): watch me http://tfl.nu/8h24
  Replies (16) Good night (3570) Bad night (558) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Why didn't I see you last night!?

  (1-203): View more from Connecticut

  We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): Why didn't I see you last night!? (1-203): We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you. http://tfl.nu/iqgq
  Replies (6) Good night (5060) Bad night (558) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (949): Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless. http://tfl.nu/j4zx
  Replies (4) Good night (2055) Bad night (424) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (580): Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service. http://tfl.nu/46gk
  Replies (7) Good night (1567) Bad night (509) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like http://tfl.nu/re6o
  Replies (3) Good night (4763) Bad night (605) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem? http://tfl.nu/qi5q
  Replies (5) Good night (2185) Bad night (493) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina. http://tfl.nu/mbje
  Replies (8) Good night (2420) Bad night (542) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?

  (312): View more from Illinois

  You're the best girlfriend ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over? (312): You're the best girlfriend ever. http://tfl.nu/ubhn
  Replies (18) Good night (4396) Bad night (1070)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  I have no words

  (951): View more from California

  Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (949): I have no words (951): Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water. http://tfl.nu/wxcd
  Replies (19) Good night (947) Bad night (2237)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (501): If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame. http://tfl.nu/x1of
  Replies (15) Good night (720) Bad night (1755) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (905): he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love http://tfl.nu/0ny7
  Replies (21) Good night (3488) Bad night (533) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s http://tfl.nu/nt41
  Replies (5) Good night (1831) Bad night (504)
• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (563): I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan. http://tfl.nu/gr04
  Replies (10) Good night (2082) Bad night (591) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (480): Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang http://tfl.nu/1oo5
  Replies (12) Good night (3974) Bad night (623) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.

  (1-714): View more from California

  If he was naked that was me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed. (1-714): If he was naked that was me. http://tfl.nu/ou2y
  Replies (10) Good night (4616) Bad night (476) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (859): i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly http://tfl.nu/pft1
  Replies (9) Good night (2967) Bad night (563) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s. http://tfl.nu/orrl
  Replies (3) Good night (2521) Bad night (573) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (514): View more from Quebec

  We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (514): We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one... http://tfl.nu/kexj
  Replies (11) Good night (2682) Bad night (645) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (647): we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana. http://tfl.nu/zk8n
  Replies (6) Good night (2841) Bad night (538) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks http://tfl.nu/tkbs
  Replies (6) Good night (1435) Bad night (483) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (302): Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself. http://tfl.nu/ycey
  Replies (8) Good night (3363) Bad night (884) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (810): Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words http://tfl.nu/8a38
  Replies (9) Good night (3380) Bad night (1001) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (727): did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again? http://tfl.nu/o7ua
  Replies (4) Good night (2898) Bad night (958) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat http://tfl.nu/flbd
  Replies (3) Good night (2304) Bad night (908)
• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (231): I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon. http://tfl.nu/pf2r
  Replies (21) Good night (7021) Bad night (1044) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  he tried to breastfeed my turtle

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (864): he tried to breastfeed my turtle http://tfl.nu/mp5f
  Replies (15) Good night (1504) Bad night (2601) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (561): He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant. http://tfl.nu/xyax
  Replies (8) Good night (2564) Bad night (729) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station. http://tfl.nu/3ja7
  Replies (16) Good night (4047) Bad night (1642) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (724): She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you." http://tfl.nu/lx6r
  Replies (4) Good night (2320) Bad night (1082) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (217): I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart. http://tfl.nu/psm5
  Replies (6) Good night (2012) Bad night (805) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (618): I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day? http://tfl.nu/kj71
  Replies (11) Good night (1180) Bad night (3053)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (719): Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right. http://tfl.nu/8sag
  Replies (12) Good night (3915) Bad night (828) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (540): And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good... http://tfl.nu/zb2a
  Replies (44) Good night (1125) Bad night (9466) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (224): View more from Illinois

  She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (224): She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg. http://tfl.nu/1lfx
  Replies (11) Good night (3344) Bad night (920) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning http://tfl.nu/jaay
  Replies (12) Good night (1601) Bad night (6565) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  You know how I know you're gay?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (218): Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments (320): You know how I know you're gay? http://tfl.nu/13va
  Replies (36) Good night (6660) Bad night (851)
• Favorite

  (458): View more from Oregon

  Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (458): Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh. http://tfl.nu/m88d
  Replies (22) Good night (5864) Bad night (1445) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend. http://tfl.nu/zf6u
  Replies (14) Good night (5105) Bad night (831) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter http://tfl.nu/o0yy
  Replies (33) Good night (1365) Bad night (6212) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  so when am I gonna get some from you?

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  when you dick grows 3 inches

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): so when am I gonna get some from you? (617): when you dick grows 3 inches http://tfl.nu/rd2p
  Replies (74) Good night (1829) Bad night (8732)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing http://tfl.nu/99kd
  Replies (17) Good night (10679) Bad night (985) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it. http://tfl.nu/867y
  Replies (16) Good night (1483) Bad night (408) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (509): i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it http://tfl.nu/wiu8
  Replies (29) Good night (6811) Bad night (1115)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends? http://tfl.nu/08w4
  Replies (101) Good night (33892) Bad night (3564) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him. http://tfl.nu/cio0
  Replies (28) Good night (4292) Bad night (1026) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me. http://tfl.nu/4boe
  Replies (15) Good night (4233) Bad night (881) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her. http://tfl.nu/sdzd
  Replies (13) Good night (5502) Bad night (1283) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl" http://tfl.nu/cqzd
  Replies (12) Good night (2345) Bad night (1094) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (920): I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness http://tfl.nu/erni
  Replies (12) Good night (4788) Bad night (681) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears http://tfl.nu/xih7
  Replies (19) Good night (4880) Bad night (587) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me. http://tfl.nu/y2d7
  Replies (5) Good night (1229) Bad night (2001) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  You're like the curious george of whores

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): You're like the curious george of whores http://tfl.nu/l01l
  Replies (5) Good night (3417) Bad night (668) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her? http://tfl.nu/1j07
  Replies (12) Good night (4183) Bad night (1126) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Five things that make you perfect. Go.

  (1-918): View more from Oklahoma

  The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (918): Five things that make you perfect. Go. (1-918): The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses. http://tfl.nu/ni7m
  Replies (26) Good night (6211) Bad night (845)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....

  (614): View more from Ohio

  We've got ourselves a situation

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and.... (614): We've got ourselves a situation http://tfl.nu/efwe
  Replies (51) Good night (7044) Bad night (637)
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (952): I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me. http://tfl.nu/xnge
  Replies (55) Good night (10441) Bad night (1117) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (626): View more from California

  she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (626): she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo http://tfl.nu/loae
  Replies (18) Good night (9859) Bad night (1214) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot

  (818): View more from California

  god is laughing at you again

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (805): a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot (818): god is laughing at you again http://tfl.nu/4fg3
  Replies (20) Good night (4928) Bad night (1447)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (616): i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold. http://tfl.nu/7qjs
  Replies (22) Good night (1077) Bad night (4342) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire. http://tfl.nu/r0t1
  Replies (39) Good night (782) Bad night (3024) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog. http://tfl.nu/73qd
  Replies (444) Good night (112201) Bad night (9722) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section http://tfl.nu/5gr0
  Replies (1628) Good night (168243) Bad night (42152) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them http://tfl.nu/8aam
  Replies (40) Good night (16420) Bad night (2034) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  Banned from zoo.

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Again?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (240): Banned from zoo. (301): Again? http://tfl.nu/bv0w
  Replies (44) Good night (16985) Bad night (1058)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating. http://tfl.nu/umg8
  Replies (34) Good night (17060) Bad night (1405) Order T-Shirt