Texts From Last Night

caroline0130's Favorites Texts:

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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.

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  (617): My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me. http://tfl.nu/up6q
  Replies (2) Good night (819) Bad night (255) Order T-Shirt
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..

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  (573): I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember.. http://tfl.nu/rkzm
  Replies (2) Good night (678) Bad night (206) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear

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  (512): my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear http://tfl.nu/fox2
  Replies (2) Good night (736) Bad night (243) Order T-Shirt
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.

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  (734): This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts. http://tfl.nu/fqt4
  Replies (2) Good night (556) Bad night (320) Order T-Shirt
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.

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  (704): CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY. http://tfl.nu/twru
  Replies (6) Good night (878) Bad night (273) Order T-Shirt
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.

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  (902): Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends. http://tfl.nu/0yi1
  Replies (11) Good night (2034) Bad night (222) Order T-Shirt
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover

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  (815): Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover http://tfl.nu/dbpl
  Replies (4) Good night (759) Bad night (542) Order T-Shirt
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried

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  (540): Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried http://tfl.nu/qg5l
  Replies (2) Good night (662) Bad night (304) Order T-Shirt
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  (916): View more from California

  What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum

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  (916): What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum http://tfl.nu/f5r0
  Replies (7) Good night (602) Bad night (196) Order T-Shirt
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected

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  (902): It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected http://tfl.nu/ecct
  Replies (4) Good night (688) Bad night (221) Order T-Shirt
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)

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  (256): I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;) http://tfl.nu/t2s6
  Replies (1) Good night (893) Bad night (216) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.

  (417): View more from Missouri

  I will make you one.

  (417): View more from Missouri

  Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it

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  (417): I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal. (417): I will make you one. (417): Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it http://tfl.nu/hpb9
  Replies (5) Good night (762) Bad night (574)
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  (516): View more from New York

  People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.

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  (516): People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall. http://tfl.nu/80cl
  Replies (7) Good night (1812) Bad night (369)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!

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  (312): I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success! http://tfl.nu/tj5b
  Replies (8) Good night (1659) Bad night (395) Order T-Shirt
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.

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  (479): Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success. http://tfl.nu/y7jz
  Replies (4) Good night (2324) Bad night (257)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it

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  (425): I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it http://tfl.nu/rt0o
  Replies (8) Good night (1061) Bad night (270) Order T-Shirt
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  (925): View more from California

  crossed #23 off the Slucket List!

  (1-925): View more from California

  YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.

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  (925): crossed #23 off the Slucket List! (1-925): YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING. http://tfl.nu/ln8o
  Replies (6) Good night (2518) Bad night (453) Order T-Shirt
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  (805): View more from California

  My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.

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  (805): My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit. http://tfl.nu/alyo
  Replies (9) Good night (1697) Bad night (658) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though

  (1-781): View more from Massachusetts

  21st birthday = success

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  (781): you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though (1-781): 21st birthday = success http://tfl.nu/y3qn
  Replies (8) Good night (1469) Bad night (407) Order T-Shirt
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex

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  (403): Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex http://tfl.nu/ohy9
  Replies (13) Good night (1932) Bad night (489) Order T-Shirt
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?

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  (781): One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach? http://tfl.nu/leuf
  Replies (7) Good night (4256) Bad night (590)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.

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  (781): No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you. http://tfl.nu/cz2r
  Replies (11) Good night (4337) Bad night (860) Order T-Shirt
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.

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  (781): Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital. http://tfl.nu/82nh
  Replies (62) Good night (4490) Bad night (1011) Order T-Shirt
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.

  (1-781): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.

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  (781): Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning. (1-781): I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon. http://tfl.nu/wxu1
  Replies (19) Good night (5928) Bad night (502)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Houston, we have a problem

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  where are u?

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.

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  (617): Houston, we have a problem (781): where are u? (617): Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here. http://tfl.nu/zyw6
  Replies (44) Good night (14906) Bad night (1264)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.

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  (781): today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby. http://tfl.nu/f0c2
  Replies (96) Good night (16537) Bad night (1190)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm so horny!

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm so hungry

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  For your pussy...

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  (508): I'm so horny! (781): I'm so hungry (508): WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY! (781): For your pussy... http://tfl.nu/7j50
  Replies (64) Good night (23870) Bad night (1496)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed

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  (781): I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed http://tfl.nu/sznd
  Replies (127) Good night (127070) Bad night (2829) Order T-Shirt
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.

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  (402): I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me. http://tfl.nu/r02t
  Replies (5) Good night (1566) Bad night (320)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.

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  (704): Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own. http://tfl.nu/ehgs
  Replies (4) Good night (2473) Bad night (490) Order T-Shirt
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.

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  (918): Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business. http://tfl.nu/hekp
  Replies (7) Good night (510) Bad night (959) Order T-Shirt
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  (415): View more from California

  Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.

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  (415): Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that. http://tfl.nu/2d02
  Replies (8) Good night (1025) Bad night (319) Order T-Shirt
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?

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  (321): What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire? http://tfl.nu/hf7l
  Replies (14) Good night (1643) Bad night (558) Order T-Shirt
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.

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  (+61): You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success. http://tfl.nu/j71q
  Replies (5) Good night (1453) Bad night (422)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.

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  (910): We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew. http://tfl.nu/c4a7
  Replies (4) Good night (1140) Bad night (748) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.

  (720): View more from Colorado

  When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?

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  (303): I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day. (720): When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30? http://tfl.nu/a4tl
  Replies (3) Good night (1572) Bad night (390)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair

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  (570): I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair http://tfl.nu/vjbt
  Replies (3) Good night (726) Bad night (1187) Order T-Shirt
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  (858): View more from California

  WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.

  (760): View more from California

  You're High aren't you?

  (858): View more from California

  Sooooo high

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  (858): WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service. (760): You're High aren't you? (858): Sooooo high http://tfl.nu/byvy
  Replies (11) Good night (2953) Bad night (470)
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  (585): View more from New York

  Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20

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  (585): Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20 http://tfl.nu/5k8j
  Replies (12) Good night (2018) Bad night (395) Order T-Shirt
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  (845): View more from New York

  You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"

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  (845): You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender" http://tfl.nu/qf49
  Replies (3) Good night (1371) Bad night (398) Order T-Shirt
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  (631): View more from New York

  did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?

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  (631): did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic? http://tfl.nu/zced
  Replies (5) Good night (1934) Bad night (485) Order T-Shirt
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  (646): View more from New York

  In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.

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  (646): In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night. http://tfl.nu/mfpz
  Replies (4) Good night (2364) Bad night (861) Order T-Shirt
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.

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  (202): Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that. http://tfl.nu/hdvk
  Replies (14) Good night (2634) Bad night (538)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.

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  (480): I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it. http://tfl.nu/wwgo
  Replies (5) Good night (1064) Bad night (560)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.

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  (937): They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list. http://tfl.nu/o7iw
  Replies (6) Good night (1588) Bad night (356) Order T-Shirt
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  Let's drink?

  (1-319): View more from Iowa

  Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.

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  (319): Let's drink? (1-319): Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast. http://tfl.nu/5wza
  Replies (5) Good night (1597) Bad night (440) Order T-Shirt
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here

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  (931): I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here http://tfl.nu/mh8f
  Replies (4) Good night (2001) Bad night (390) Order T-Shirt
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Ps I am

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  (440): Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now (440): Ps I am http://tfl.nu/ow38
  Replies (8) Good night (2056) Bad night (380)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?

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  (262): the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here? http://tfl.nu/0zqj
  Replies (12) Good night (1954) Bad night (413)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another

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  (248): maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another http://tfl.nu/vil6
  Replies (6) Good night (766) Bad night (917) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.

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  (914): I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there. http://tfl.nu/ryf1
  Replies (6) Good night (477) Bad night (887) Order T-Shirt
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Where the royal fuck are you??

  (1-425): View more from Washington

  The depths of vodka hell.

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  (425): Where the royal fuck are you?? (1-425): The depths of vodka hell. http://tfl.nu/wloy
  Replies (13) Good night (2003) Bad night (514) Order T-Shirt
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.

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  (479): I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home. http://tfl.nu/yjx8
  Replies (12) Good night (1527) Bad night (543) Order T-Shirt
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me

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  (864): So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me http://tfl.nu/4trs
  Replies (5) Good night (667) Bad night (1280) Order T-Shirt
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer

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  (647): well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer http://tfl.nu/wxzh
  Replies (3) Good night (1097) Bad night (451) Order T-Shirt
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.

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  (740): Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves. http://tfl.nu/uw3n
  Replies (10) Good night (1433) Bad night (819) Order T-Shirt
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  (347): View more from New York

  Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!

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  (347): Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?! http://tfl.nu/ypzd
  Replies (2) Good night (1052) Bad night (421) Order T-Shirt
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  (510): View more from California

  yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him

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  (510): yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him http://tfl.nu/nlke
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.

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  (703): All I need in life is some dick and a big mac. http://tfl.nu/2v25
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist

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  (703): How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist http://tfl.nu/hzre
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?

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  (401): how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much? (617): how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore? http://tfl.nu/k1y1
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Darwin at his finest.

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  (571): You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg. (202): Darwin at his finest. http://tfl.nu/rqsd
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  (916): View more from California

  I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.

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  (916): I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house. http://tfl.nu/a7ly
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?

  (1-614): View more from Ohio

  Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.

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  (614): Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast? (1-614): Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry. http://tfl.nu/0ygg
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  (801): View more from Utah

  When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.

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  (801): When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon. http://tfl.nu/dq5q
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  (253): View more from Washington

  I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.

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  (253): I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE. http://tfl.nu/sorm
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.

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  (248): im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night. http://tfl.nu/slk3
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  (707): View more from California

  I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs

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  (707): I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs http://tfl.nu/07a7
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Not my cup of tea

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  (250): I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years. (250): Not my cup of tea http://tfl.nu/83fl
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.

  (1-773): View more from Illinois

  Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.

  (773): View more from Illinois

  We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?

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  (773): What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat. (1-773): Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious. (773): We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru? http://tfl.nu/d3s4
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.

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  (785): God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr. http://tfl.nu/5tpq
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  (985): View more from Louisiana

  Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.

  (1-985): View more from Louisiana

  Do I have a choice?

  (985): View more from Louisiana

  I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.

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  (985): Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response. (1-985): Do I have a choice? (985): I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again. http://tfl.nu/kt0k
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  (386): View more from Florida

  Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.

  (904): View more from Florida

  You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.

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  (386): Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days. (904): You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal. http://tfl.nu/6thw
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.

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  (610): Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore. http://tfl.nu/f91d
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest

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  (413): this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest http://tfl.nu/t110
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more

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  (703): Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more http://tfl.nu/zuqw
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.

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  (312): I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4. http://tfl.nu/sr4z
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section

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  (215): i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section http://tfl.nu/5gr0
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.

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  (604): Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome. http://tfl.nu/ktg3
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  (360): View more from Washington

  he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously

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  (360): he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously http://tfl.nu/w3a5
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.

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  (910): I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything. http://tfl.nu/veiz
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen

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  (907): Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen http://tfl.nu/aug1
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