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so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
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