Texts From Last Night · bean523's Favorites

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bean523's Favorites Texts:

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(980): View more from North Carolina

I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.

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(307): View more from Wyoming

eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.

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(903): View more from Texas

Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(256): View more from Alabama

Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.

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(703): View more from Virginia

My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud

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(517): View more from Michigan

I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.

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(360): View more from Washington

If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.

(503): View more from Oregon

Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!

(360): View more from Washington

A cheater.

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