Texts From Last Night

accadacca101's Favorites Texts:

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  (817): View more from Texas

  I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death

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  (817): I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death http://tfl.nu/7rv2
  Replies (9) Good night (2826) Bad night (1065) Order T-Shirt
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal

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  (706): saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal http://tfl.nu/ml27
  Replies (11) Good night (4583) Bad night (1825) Order T-Shirt
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.

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  (613): Will you be topless? That will affect my answer. http://tfl.nu/lf7u
  Replies (19) Good night (6045) Bad night (899) Order T-Shirt
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?

  (1-816): View more from Missouri

  Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.

  (816): View more from Missouri

  ...... wtf.

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  (816): Where'd you guys get the alcohol from? (1-816): Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower. (816): ...... wtf. http://tfl.nu/k9gx
  Replies (25) Good night (7130) Bad night (991)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!

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  (908): It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?! http://tfl.nu/h7d0
  Replies (20) Good night (7747) Bad night (824) Order T-Shirt
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  (214): View more from Texas

  You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.

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  (214): You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters. http://tfl.nu/nfga
  Replies (14) Good night (5974) Bad night (848) Order T-Shirt
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.

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  (403): Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it. http://tfl.nu/6k4w
  Replies (18) Good night (4845) Bad night (1174)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.

  (540): View more from Virginia

  You guys make me sad

  (703): View more from Virginia

  You misspelled jealous there

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  (703): We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone. (540): You guys make me sad (703): You misspelled jealous there http://tfl.nu/wtst
  Replies (23) Good night (11500) Bad night (1199)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now

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  (318): I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now http://tfl.nu/xdsb
  Replies (15) Good night (5428) Bad night (1488) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.

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  (519): Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation. http://tfl.nu/lz4o
  Replies (17) Good night (3979) Bad night (782) Order T-Shirt
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  (805): View more from California

  do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?

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  (805): do you think they make care bear costumes for cats? http://tfl.nu/vj5d
  Replies (10) Good night (2423) Bad night (947) Order T-Shirt
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men

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  (804): Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men http://tfl.nu/7ncn
  Replies (39) Good night (1043) Bad night (2394) Order T-Shirt
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"

  (1-204): View more from Manitoba

  you are both the best and worst wingman ever.

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  (204): I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?" (1-204): you are both the best and worst wingman ever. http://tfl.nu/2hl0
  Replies (17) Good night (7030) Bad night (1006)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare

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  (571): so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare http://tfl.nu/r7bv
  Replies (21) Good night (4121) Bad night (539) Order T-Shirt
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  (718): View more from New York

  at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.

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  (718): at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue. http://tfl.nu/efry
  Replies (15) Good night (6213) Bad night (894) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies

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  (310): Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies http://tfl.nu/s7p4
  Replies (19) Good night (3885) Bad night (560) Order T-Shirt
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  (817): View more from Texas

  The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.

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  (817): The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down. http://tfl.nu/fg57
  Replies (19) Good night (6901) Bad night (610) Order T-Shirt
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.

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  (601): He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows. http://tfl.nu/pp93
  Replies (15) Good night (6728) Bad night (1796) Order T-Shirt
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.

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  (479): Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out. http://tfl.nu/6ock
  Replies (17) Good night (4010) Bad night (698) Order T-Shirt
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  (516): View more from New York

  The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".

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  (516): The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina". http://tfl.nu/tnih
  Replies (17) Good night (7523) Bad night (873) Order T-Shirt
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often

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  (412): the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often http://tfl.nu/iv13
  Replies (25) Good night (4272) Bad night (951) Order T-Shirt
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.

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  (919): sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer. http://tfl.nu/u6do
  Replies (13) Good night (5943) Bad night (1134) Order T-Shirt
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  (925): View more from California

  Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.

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  (925): Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you. http://tfl.nu/15wm
  Replies (19) Good night (6254) Bad night (902)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now

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  (214): I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now http://tfl.nu/up7f
  Replies (18) Good night (4576) Bad night (1601) Order T-Shirt
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food

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  (403): He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food http://tfl.nu/demt
  Replies (20) Good night (3471) Bad night (1296) Order T-Shirt
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.

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  (603): well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access. http://tfl.nu/o23q
  Replies (26) Good night (3830) Bad night (1278) Order T-Shirt
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer

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  (708): youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer http://tfl.nu/xxdd
  Replies (31) Good night (10918) Bad night (1165) Order T-Shirt
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch

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  (804): She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch http://tfl.nu/datu
  Replies (14) Good night (4116) Bad night (994) Order T-Shirt
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  (916): View more from California

  I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...

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  (916): I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one... http://tfl.nu/z7kq
  Replies (13) Good night (5713) Bad night (816) Order T-Shirt
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  (607): View more from New York

  Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles

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  (607): Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles http://tfl.nu/47mn
  Replies (16) Good night (5156) Bad night (770) Order T-Shirt
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.

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  (503): I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too. http://tfl.nu/16uc
  Replies (23) Good night (7106) Bad night (939) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.

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  (630): I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit. http://tfl.nu/afy7
  Replies (14) Good night (6849) Bad night (1127) Order T-Shirt
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  (510): View more from California

  Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay

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  (510): Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay http://tfl.nu/s2rn
  Replies (65) Good night (20507) Bad night (1813) Order T-Shirt
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  (707): View more from California

  Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.

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  (707): Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room. http://tfl.nu/g35c
  Replies (14) Good night (4333) Bad night (1036) Order T-Shirt
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  (305): View more from Florida

  you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store

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  (305): you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store http://tfl.nu/0ult
  Replies (25) Good night (4610) Bad night (978) Order T-Shirt
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.

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  (815): There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream. http://tfl.nu/rule
  Replies (12) Good night (5160) Bad night (677) Order T-Shirt
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem

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  (847): I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem http://tfl.nu/9xlk
  Replies (16) Good night (5171) Bad night (916) Order T-Shirt
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  (585): View more from New York

  Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.

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  (585): Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven. http://tfl.nu/xlkq
  Replies (9) Good night (6190) Bad night (891)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.

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  (570): i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network. http://tfl.nu/mmjy
  Replies (45) Good night (2617) Bad night (4553) Order T-Shirt
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard

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  (708): I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard http://tfl.nu/i4gj
  Replies (19) Good night (4038) Bad night (1082) Order T-Shirt
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  (516): View more from New York

  gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long

  (917): View more from New York City

  Thats what she said

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  (516): gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long (917): Thats what she said http://tfl.nu/ke6j
  Replies (13) Good night (1812) Bad night (561)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours

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  (615): Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours http://tfl.nu/h5ci
  Replies (10) Good night (3869) Bad night (792) Order T-Shirt
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?

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  (605): I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF? http://tfl.nu/tx7k
  Replies (14) Good night (5697) Bad night (922) Order T-Shirt
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  (409): View more from Texas

  He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'

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  (409): He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this' http://tfl.nu/libu
  Replies (15) Good night (5322) Bad night (1071) Order T-Shirt
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America

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  (513): just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America http://tfl.nu/08yj
  Replies (23) Good night (6879) Bad night (1257) Order T-Shirt
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  (813): View more from Florida

  watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...

  (863): View more from Florida

  Can I come live with you?

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  (813): watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC... (863): Can I come live with you? http://tfl.nu/y56x
  Replies (21) Good night (5487) Bad night (998)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.

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  (913): just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home. http://tfl.nu/c9s9
  Replies (45) Good night (11809) Bad night (1074) Order T-Shirt
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  (+82): View more from South Korea

  You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.

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  (+82): You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes. http://tfl.nu/6vdw
  Replies (7) Good night (5299) Bad night (974) Order T-Shirt
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  (518): View more from New York

  All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss

  (301): View more from Maryland

  OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?

  (518): View more from New York

  Doritoesssssss

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  (518): All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss (301): OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with? (518): Doritoesssssss http://tfl.nu/528p
  Replies (41) Good night (13048) Bad night (1172)
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  (818): View more from California

  I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.

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  (818): I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos. http://tfl.nu/bkr9
  Replies (23) Good night (5144) Bad night (1227) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?

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  (617): WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL? http://tfl.nu/2onf
  Replies (17) Good night (5028) Bad night (1211) Order T-Shirt
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit

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  (301): and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit http://tfl.nu/fjd7
  Replies (8) Good night (4350) Bad night (804) Order T-Shirt
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  (845): View more from New York

  Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?

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  (845): Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn? http://tfl.nu/bm5d
  Replies (11) Good night (6640) Bad night (973) Order T-Shirt
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  (207): View more from Maine

  dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat

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  (207): dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat http://tfl.nu/ast4
  Replies (56) Good night (15633) Bad night (1475) Order T-Shirt
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  (925): View more from California

  its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife

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  (925): its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife http://tfl.nu/e55k
  Replies (17) Good night (3845) Bad night (1052) Order T-Shirt
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.

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  (269): Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option. http://tfl.nu/dknj
  Replies (22) Good night (6185) Bad night (961) Order T-Shirt
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.

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  (613): The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches. http://tfl.nu/uy09
  Replies (30) Good night (9729) Bad night (923)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.

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  (803): I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene. http://tfl.nu/fj0l
  Replies (38) Good night (6169) Bad night (1845) Order T-Shirt
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory

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  (541): we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory http://tfl.nu/4fuz
  Replies (59) Good night (5376) Bad night (899) Order T-Shirt