Texts From Last Night · _betweenwords's Favorites

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_betweenwords's Favorites Texts:

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(612): View more from Minnesota

Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"

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(519): View more from Ontario

we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning

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(209): View more from California

Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?

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(636): View more from Missouri

Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(973): View more from New Jersey

his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed

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(416): View more from Toronto

Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.

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(210): View more from Texas

every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY

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