Texts From Last Night

MinxyMia's Favorites Texts:

Sort By: Date Favorited / Date Posted / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (785): Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas. http://tfl.nu/amy7
  Replies (6) Good night (738) Bad night (124) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right? http://tfl.nu/xedt
  Replies (3) Good night (620) Bad night (202) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I didn't notice because vodka

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (832): I didn't notice because vodka http://tfl.nu/t52z
  Replies (3) Good night (1312) Bad night (275) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick http://tfl.nu/k83b
  Replies (3) Good night (413) Bad night (298)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism? http://tfl.nu/bpr0
  Replies (10) Good night (741) Bad night (264) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often. http://tfl.nu/cpju
  Replies (4) Good night (713) Bad night (440) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (406): He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die. http://tfl.nu/b33e
  Replies (3) Good night (722) Bad night (418) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome http://tfl.nu/ctsa
  Replies (4) Good night (1259) Bad night (370) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (843): He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals. http://tfl.nu/0dw2
  Replies (8) Good night (1349) Bad night (604)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get." http://tfl.nu/dl94
  Replies (1) Good night (1302) Bad night (367) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (604): Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!" http://tfl.nu/of5t
  Replies (1) Good night (924) Bad night (293) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (408): My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now. http://tfl.nu/tbbh
  Replies (5) Good night (1165) Bad night (370) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines. http://tfl.nu/u22h
  Replies (1) Good night (1223) Bad night (393) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (325): View more from Texas

  Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (325): Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul. http://tfl.nu/ljpv
  Replies (8) Good night (1191) Bad night (303) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens. http://tfl.nu/cd1z
  Replies (8) Good night (1691) Bad night (424) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys. http://tfl.nu/l0ff
  Replies (1) Good night (924) Bad night (363) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (925): also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast. http://tfl.nu/lamp
  Replies (6) Good night (997) Bad night (354) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse. http://tfl.nu/wnun
  Replies (4) Good night (1144) Bad night (323) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits." http://tfl.nu/x9en
  Replies (6) Good night (2323) Bad night (522) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?! http://tfl.nu/drpl
  Replies (21) Good night (1402) Bad night (260) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!" http://tfl.nu/0i27
  Replies (6) Good night (2438) Bad night (390) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (432): View more from Texas

  Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (432): Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter http://tfl.nu/o41k
  Replies (10) Good night (1910) Bad night (387) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (724): You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails. http://tfl.nu/klfg
  Replies (15) Good night (1785) Bad night (707) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM. http://tfl.nu/cuq6
  Replies (15) Good night (2502) Bad night (348) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2 http://tfl.nu/1blx
  Replies (9) Good night (1155) Bad night (422)
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (661): im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom http://tfl.nu/xude
  Replies (3) Good night (925) Bad night (579) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (507): I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil http://tfl.nu/ueg4
  Replies (7) Good night (761) Bad night (1511) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (604): Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon! http://tfl.nu/zzxk
  Replies (7) Good night (1163) Bad night (407) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (812): I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you http://tfl.nu/vw2w
  Replies (15) Good night (1766) Bad night (477) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (505): It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm. http://tfl.nu/vdhu
  Replies (15) Good night (4646) Bad night (522)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud. http://tfl.nu/laot
  Replies (20) Good night (1784) Bad night (825)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"

  (1-610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Aren't they always?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit" (1-610): Aren't they always? http://tfl.nu/6oqg
  Replies (1) Good night (1469) Bad night (579) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (781): And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today. http://tfl.nu/2n0s
  Replies (21) Good night (2627) Bad night (472) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (501): My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success. http://tfl.nu/qdpi
  Replies (8) Good night (539) Bad night (790) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (775): If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you. http://tfl.nu/tyav
  Replies (4) Good night (1427) Bad night (509) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (318): They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it. http://tfl.nu/p3lc
  Replies (8) Good night (3044) Bad night (443)
• Favorite

  (254): View more from Texas

  What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (254): What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch? http://tfl.nu/qe37
  Replies (11) Good night (1525) Bad night (335) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (501): You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie. http://tfl.nu/eccp
  Replies (4) Good night (2084) Bad night (485) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (544): View more from

  I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (544): I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling. http://tfl.nu/vpgy
  Replies (10) Good night (1563) Bad night (654) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (239): View more from Florida

  His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (239): His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during... http://tfl.nu/a1a1
  Replies (11) Good night (551) Bad night (2589) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller." http://tfl.nu/x4em
  Replies (21) Good night (2775) Bad night (798) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (765): Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me. http://tfl.nu/xef4
  Replies (8) Good night (2078) Bad night (548) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room http://tfl.nu/oqu1
  Replies (20) Good night (3486) Bad night (586) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (403): also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy. http://tfl.nu/tn0z
  Replies (15) Good night (3624) Bad night (407) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (502): I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that? http://tfl.nu/7r6j
  Replies (14) Good night (1144) Bad night (1561)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (785): Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage. http://tfl.nu/6qi6
  Replies (17) Good night (1145) Bad night (1702)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest... http://tfl.nu/j6s5
  Replies (6) Good night (2392) Bad night (630) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes. http://tfl.nu/cpyt
  Replies (8) Good night (2169) Bad night (541) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (623): View more from Arizona

  I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (623): I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me. http://tfl.nu/we23
  Replies (5) Good night (1296) Bad night (496) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (540): i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on http://tfl.nu/ddt2
  Replies (1) Good night (1152) Bad night (477) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  She fuckin peed on me

  (817): View more from Texas

  Stay golden ponyboy

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (757): She fuckin peed on me (817): Stay golden ponyboy http://tfl.nu/vooq
  Replies (16) Good night (4656) Bad night (967)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (989): My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war http://tfl.nu/yle2
  Replies (12) Good night (2495) Bad night (547) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (530): He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?" http://tfl.nu/zkkw
  Replies (6) Good night (1650) Bad night (2429) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (940): View more from Texas

  Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (940): Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers http://tfl.nu/bomc
  Replies (14) Good night (3919) Bad night (742)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (417): In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D. http://tfl.nu/wwrb
  Replies (9) Good night (2605) Bad night (744)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink. http://tfl.nu/qaqf
  Replies (5) Good night (2296) Bad night (649) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (216): Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing http://tfl.nu/jpc8
  Replies (4) Good night (1803) Bad night (744) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (229): View more from Georgia

  No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (229): No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry http://tfl.nu/1p4e
  Replies (6) Good night (2413) Bad night (734) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (225): You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night. http://tfl.nu/uygn
  Replies (6) Good night (3512) Bad night (831) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (312): please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children http://tfl.nu/5h1t
  Replies (8) Good night (1743) Bad night (664) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner. http://tfl.nu/1na9
  Replies (8) Good night (2073) Bad night (775) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (864): So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life" http://tfl.nu/u5wp
  Replies (175) Good night (51684) Bad night (5689)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (757): At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP." http://tfl.nu/p091
  Replies (297) Good night (73368) Bad night (2463) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  The strip club called, they have your shoe.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (910): The strip club called, they have your shoe. http://tfl.nu/kbp6
  Replies (13) Good night (3629) Bad night (690) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (240): He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter. http://tfl.nu/87g5
  Replies (53) Good night (1855) Bad night (13635) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up http://tfl.nu/11fq
  Replies (3) Good night (2209) Bad night (910) Order T-Shirt