Texts From Last Night · Mattison's Favorites

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Mattison's Favorites Texts:

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(360): View more from Washington

I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000

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(240): View more from Maryland

I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job

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(302): View more from Delaware

apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.

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(630): View more from Illinois

There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"

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