Texts From Last Night

M3GATR0N's Favorites Texts:

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  (416): View more from Toronto

  Best. Handjob. Ever.

  (905): View more from Ontario

  I'm guessing Kelly is over?

  (416): View more from Toronto

  Nope. Home alone.

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  (416): Best. Handjob. Ever. (905): I'm guessing Kelly is over? (416): Nope. Home alone. http://tfl.nu/vpw4
  Replies (20) Good night (5781) Bad night (2813)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.

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  (920): i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel. http://tfl.nu/bqxg
  Replies (26) Good night (12725) Bad night (1065) Order T-Shirt
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.

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  (763): there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread. http://tfl.nu/qy40
  Replies (35) Good night (1731) Bad night (8448) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky

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  (248): the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky http://tfl.nu/6tb5
  Replies (22) Good night (8525) Bad night (1167) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.

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  (717): just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high. http://tfl.nu/38z6
  Replies (24) Good night (4242) Bad night (907) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice

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  (732): You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice http://tfl.nu/hsgc
  Replies (45) Good night (14649) Bad night (1666)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring

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  (765): i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring http://tfl.nu/hl5v
  Replies (13) Good night (889) Bad night (5832) Order T-Shirt
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.

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  (404): She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more. http://tfl.nu/sgvu
  Replies (12) Good night (4684) Bad night (1248) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.

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  (706): I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face. http://tfl.nu/e8qy
  Replies (83) Good night (17339) Bad night (1786) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.

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  (404): I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck. http://tfl.nu/f2m7
  Replies (45) Good night (25448) Bad night (1099) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win

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  (703): So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win http://tfl.nu/8bud
  Replies (17) Good night (5102) Bad night (903) Order T-Shirt