Texts From Last Night

LBanana17's Favorites Texts:

Sort By: Date Favorited / Date Posted / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping" http://tfl.nu/lb53
  Replies (7) Good night (2737) Bad night (547) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas. http://tfl.nu/7s9z
  Replies (14) Good night (4268) Bad night (735) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (859): We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints. http://tfl.nu/0ly1
  Replies (5) Good night (3174) Bad night (847) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (903): If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis. http://tfl.nu/5wmm
  Replies (27) Good night (5556) Bad night (1020) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  The gym has a pool

  (914): View more from New York

  my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (718): The gym has a pool (914): my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high" http://tfl.nu/pnez
  Replies (4) Good night (3076) Bad night (771)
• Favorite

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (870): Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships. http://tfl.nu/i0ve
  Replies (18) Good night (1184) Bad night (3168) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes. http://tfl.nu/57eb
  Replies (50) Good night (2283) Bad night (5305)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (317): A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some. http://tfl.nu/08yo
  Replies (14) Good night (6918) Bad night (935) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (262): He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage" http://tfl.nu/fr69
  Replies (16) Good night (8696) Bad night (1014)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too http://tfl.nu/j3jp
  Replies (10) Good night (2911) Bad night (800) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past. http://tfl.nu/fh9a
  Replies (5) Good night (1828) Bad night (871) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (731): View more from Tennessee

  What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (731): What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry? http://tfl.nu/iiar
  Replies (32) Good night (1386) Bad night (4666) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (348): View more from

  Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (348): Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment... http://tfl.nu/ldjn
  Replies (5) Good night (2717) Bad night (828) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night http://tfl.nu/5l2j
  Replies (11) Good night (3356) Bad night (1229) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year. http://tfl.nu/exle
  Replies (16) Good night (3045) Bad night (1072) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (760): She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle. http://tfl.nu/ihsx
  Replies (4) Good night (2579) Bad night (692) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately http://tfl.nu/htr3
  Replies (3) Good night (2339) Bad night (706) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate. http://tfl.nu/7ogi
  Replies (13) Good night (2481) Bad night (755) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (318): There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday http://tfl.nu/53lu
  Replies (12) Good night (3169) Bad night (993) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (505): All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice. http://tfl.nu/9vs4
  Replies (9) Good night (2703) Bad night (990)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (217): I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos. http://tfl.nu/dg53
  Replies (10) Good night (3131) Bad night (1210) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (204): View more from Manitoba

  how do you feel about lunch break shots ?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (204): how do you feel about lunch break shots ? http://tfl.nu/05qu
  Replies (8) Good night (3069) Bad night (830) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (660): View more from Missouri

  There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (660): There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK http://tfl.nu/9rna
  Replies (10) Good night (1233) Bad night (2818) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (61): View more from Australia

  Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (61): Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed http://tfl.nu/qr9l
  Replies (10) Good night (4498) Bad night (798) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (805): bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me http://tfl.nu/f5bj
  Replies (7) Good night (863) Bad night (2883) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): I actually had fun getting arrested. That high. http://tfl.nu/ixl1
  Replies (6) Good night (2992) Bad night (939) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (417): Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel http://tfl.nu/ki9k
  Replies (11) Good night (2192) Bad night (884) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (719): passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud http://tfl.nu/qo9v
  Replies (10) Good night (3827) Bad night (1000) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (719): She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time http://tfl.nu/gadq
  Replies (21) Good night (6564) Bad night (1131) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.

  (1-306): View more from Saskatchewan

  What did you cook with whisky?

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  We started a fire.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (306): We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky. (1-306): What did you cook with whisky? (306): We started a fire. http://tfl.nu/4y3v
  Replies (11) Good night (5827) Bad night (1010)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.

  (1-360): View more from Washington

  oh. my. god. yes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life. (1-360): oh. my. god. yes. http://tfl.nu/jrnd
  Replies (14) Good night (5657) Bad night (1295) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again http://tfl.nu/1mb1
  Replies (13) Good night (6145) Bad night (986) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (406): Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body. http://tfl.nu/hcjb
  Replies (6) Good night (966) Bad night (2286) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us. http://tfl.nu/44xm
  Replies (13) Good night (5656) Bad night (901) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (505): new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse. http://tfl.nu/qxpq
  Replies (6) Good night (2419) Bad night (622) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before http://tfl.nu/meit
  Replies (4) Good night (3016) Bad night (3270) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench. http://tfl.nu/bsle
  Replies (9) Good night (3157) Bad night (867) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes. http://tfl.nu/rvi7
  Replies (11) Good night (980) Bad night (4030) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp

  (1-650): View more from California

  i loe djcudia fjxos rue.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (650): Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp (1-650): i loe djcudia fjxos rue. http://tfl.nu/pfpy
  Replies (15) Good night (2603) Bad night (952)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.

  (1-406): View more from Montana

  haha i know

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (406): i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt. (1-406): haha i know http://tfl.nu/vo1w
  Replies (21) Good night (7487) Bad night (983) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook. http://tfl.nu/6m40
  Replies (21) Good night (1035) Bad night (4746) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (225): Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe. http://tfl.nu/nl8k
  Replies (5) Good night (1843) Bad night (900) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  Even my vagina gasped.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (515): Even my vagina gasped. http://tfl.nu/5sis
  Replies (15) Good night (5061) Bad night (917) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (530): I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me. http://tfl.nu/jc9x
  Replies (29) Good night (4163) Bad night (951) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you. http://tfl.nu/c5wc
  Replies (24) Good night (4943) Bad night (1006) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  There is a pube in my fucking eyeball

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (505): There is a pube in my fucking eyeball http://tfl.nu/0eb2
  Replies (15) Good night (806) Bad night (5088) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (561): I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down. http://tfl.nu/sm69
  Replies (3) Good night (2175) Bad night (790) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her. http://tfl.nu/sdzd
  Replies (13) Good night (5501) Bad night (1283) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (316): I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina. http://tfl.nu/8zh1
  Replies (41) Good night (5727) Bad night (1463) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  we need ur ladder

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume (612): we need ur ladder http://tfl.nu/n9qh
  Replies (19) Good night (7016) Bad night (790)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  Are my feet made of real feet?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (740): Are my feet made of real feet? http://tfl.nu/dext
  Replies (17) Good night (5585) Bad night (881) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (573): I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use." http://tfl.nu/1qa0
  Replies (8) Good night (5436) Bad night (688) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls. http://tfl.nu/e2rh
  Replies (29) Good night (5685) Bad night (1073) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them http://tfl.nu/vxlz
  Replies (10) Good night (5236) Bad night (702) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (707): I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class http://tfl.nu/fiu2
  Replies (12) Good night (4240) Bad night (783) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (205): I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab. http://tfl.nu/cf76
  Replies (30) Good night (7677) Bad night (866) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand... http://tfl.nu/1d8q
  Replies (10) Good night (701) Bad night (4786) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (618): was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven? http://tfl.nu/9wj5
  Replies (10) Good night (3029) Bad night (690) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people http://tfl.nu/xhvq
  Replies (28) Good night (1304) Bad night (5188) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not. http://tfl.nu/jtsf
  Replies (14) Good night (7489) Bad night (747) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (804): I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working... http://tfl.nu/tuy1
  Replies (18) Good night (6527) Bad night (805) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila? http://tfl.nu/e4mt
  Replies (7) Good night (3277) Bad night (738) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon http://tfl.nu/nm2q
  Replies (14) Good night (4520) Bad night (1281) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole. http://tfl.nu/qa53
  Replies (9) Good night (2543) Bad night (877) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice http://tfl.nu/ufj4
  Replies (7) Good night (2292) Bad night (693) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (859): IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL http://tfl.nu/qlmv
  Replies (4) Good night (2875) Bad night (773) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (305): I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him. http://tfl.nu/a6jy
  Replies (4) Good night (3419) Bad night (620) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream? http://tfl.nu/judd
  Replies (7) Good night (3424) Bad night (657) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on http://tfl.nu/0aek
  Replies (12) Good night (4833) Bad night (1262) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (906): View more from Michigan

  he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (906): he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor http://tfl.nu/agbs
  Replies (4) Good night (2874) Bad night (833) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (724): This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class? http://tfl.nu/x3em
  Replies (12) Good night (3531) Bad night (892) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper? http://tfl.nu/v6av
  Replies (13) Good night (1335) Bad night (3401) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now. http://tfl.nu/42b8
  Replies (7) Good night (2586) Bad night (784) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on? http://tfl.nu/pffh
  Replies (54) Good night (9896) Bad night (867) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man http://tfl.nu/g1rm
  Replies (12) Good night (3169) Bad night (956) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (337): Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night. http://tfl.nu/5kyl
  Replies (36) Good night (6555) Bad night (2239) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (903): He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well. http://tfl.nu/h56s
  Replies (8) Good night (5327) Bad night (730)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried. http://tfl.nu/p6ag
  Replies (13) Good night (2427) Bad night (4371) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (530): We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes. http://tfl.nu/38if
  Replies (11) Good night (4288) Bad night (667) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (254): View more from Texas

  Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (254): Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me. http://tfl.nu/nie2
  Replies (9) Good night (3781) Bad night (845)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (805): Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement? http://tfl.nu/mmb3
  Replies (21) Good night (3995) Bad night (942) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can. http://tfl.nu/8tit
  Replies (21) Good night (14408) Bad night (1111) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (414): Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch. http://tfl.nu/js8y
  Replies (5) Good night (4602) Bad night (632) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs. http://tfl.nu/rxnt
  Replies (18) Good night (4385) Bad night (877) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon http://tfl.nu/5ghl
  Replies (23) Good night (7357) Bad night (881) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us http://tfl.nu/dd67
  Replies (80) Good night (3375) Bad night (4523) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (305): The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service. http://tfl.nu/dlye
  Replies (89) Good night (11246) Bad night (617) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (252): View more from North Carolina

  I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (252): I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them. http://tfl.nu/kwke
  Replies (12) Good night (5061) Bad night (676) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (317): Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake http://tfl.nu/x5vz
  Replies (22) Good night (1649) Bad night (4474) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks http://tfl.nu/8135
  Replies (11) Good night (4280) Bad night (940) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (757): we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink. http://tfl.nu/2r69
  Replies (21) Good night (4700) Bad night (648) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?

  (1-775): View more from Nevada

  A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (775): What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS? (1-775): A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass! http://tfl.nu/lvgp
  Replies (16) Good night (1538) Bad night (2323) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (352): never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party.. http://tfl.nu/fqwv
  Replies (14) Good night (6408) Bad night (841) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  "Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Haha how much did you smoke

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  4 feet of smokeee!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): "Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another? (609): Haha how much did you smoke (570): 4 feet of smokeee! http://tfl.nu/eyp0
  Replies (20) Good night (3395) Bad night (534)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner. http://tfl.nu/otz7
  Replies (36) Good night (16587) Bad night (748) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (650): Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day... http://tfl.nu/p3lj
  Replies (51) Good night (6436) Bad night (947) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Ontario

  She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now http://tfl.nu/59pg
  Replies (64) Good night (993) Bad night (6625)
• Favorite

  (571): View more from Virginia

  Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (571): Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever. http://tfl.nu/jxfd
  Replies (14) Good night (5595) Bad night (453) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation. http://tfl.nu/z4sr
  Replies (15) Good night (7179) Bad night (820)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  i got excepted to unl lol

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  You mean "accepted".

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): i got excepted to unl lol (402): You mean "accepted". http://tfl.nu/3nr7
  Replies (76) Good night (1584) Bad night (5985)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up http://tfl.nu/89z7
  Replies (27) Good night (2584) Bad night (4798) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (979): View more from Texas

  She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (979): She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today. http://tfl.nu/i2c6
  Replies (8) Good night (736) Bad night (5134) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (801): We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party http://tfl.nu/w1ty
  Replies (8) Good night (3092) Bad night (639) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off. http://tfl.nu/2s4x
  Replies (10) Good night (6576) Bad night (800)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (918): Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR http://tfl.nu/fkjm
  Replies (22) Good night (4318) Bad night (1110) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (707): I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor http://tfl.nu/hlsl
  Replies (11) Good night (4476) Bad night (799) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (406): Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night http://tfl.nu/9n0e
  Replies (8) Good night (5186) Bad night (969) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (505): the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears http://tfl.nu/h30c
  Replies (21) Good night (7140) Bad night (763) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers... http://tfl.nu/y9ah
  Replies (8) Good night (2271) Bad night (1029) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club http://tfl.nu/6yea
  Replies (8) Good night (5140) Bad night (833) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (253): The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid http://tfl.nu/62ef
  Replies (23) Good night (4461) Bad night (1290) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (618): I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's. http://tfl.nu/uxq5
  Replies (11) Good night (3973) Bad night (1120) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie. http://tfl.nu/3ijz
  Replies (18) Good night (7473) Bad night (1005) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade http://tfl.nu/l96w
  Replies (9) Good night (4413) Bad night (911) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (616): You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls. http://tfl.nu/v76g
  Replies (9) Good night (4830) Bad night (1518) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving. http://tfl.nu/oull
  Replies (26) Good night (7507) Bad night (1720) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3 http://tfl.nu/7or4
  Replies (4) Good night (4404) Bad night (966) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (210): I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours. http://tfl.nu/n5xc
  Replies (4) Good night (3915) Bad night (1119) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (701): So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster http://tfl.nu/imtg
  Replies (13) Good night (907) Bad night (3343) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (414): a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99... http://tfl.nu/p4eu
  Replies (32) Good night (1634) Bad night (6942) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  this is really not the time to pretend we have morals

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (704): this is really not the time to pretend we have morals http://tfl.nu/j8ot
  Replies (10) Good night (4720) Bad night (825) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (786): View more from Florida

  What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (786): What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her? http://tfl.nu/v1vy
  Replies (8) Good night (3044) Bad night (990) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (262): This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year" http://tfl.nu/hf6v
  Replies (9) Good night (1124) Bad night (6201) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky. http://tfl.nu/5xyb
  Replies (31) Good night (14740) Bad night (1575) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen. http://tfl.nu/rhei
  Replies (27) Good night (1372) Bad night (6314) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (718): Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much. http://tfl.nu/absj
  Replies (15) Good night (5486) Bad night (1571) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (315): My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?' http://tfl.nu/x9n6
  Replies (13) Good night (8164) Bad night (1202) Order T-Shirt