Texts From Last Night

Hole_Puncher's Favorites Texts:

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  (858): View more from California

  She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.

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  (858): She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol. http://tfl.nu/gw51
  Replies (10) Good night (3317) Bad night (976) Order T-Shirt
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  (239): View more from Florida

  What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?

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  (239): What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex? http://tfl.nu/g36z
  Replies (11) Good night (3454) Bad night (800) Order T-Shirt
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  (406): View more from Montana

  apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...

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  (406): apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone... http://tfl.nu/2d2g
  Replies (12) Good night (4427) Bad night (948) Order T-Shirt
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!

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  (732): He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love! http://tfl.nu/kaje
  Replies (9) Good night (4616) Bad night (752) Order T-Shirt
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  (972): View more from Texas

  he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.

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  (972): he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever. http://tfl.nu/boyq
  Replies (21) Good night (5632) Bad night (1359) Order T-Shirt
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  (801): View more from Utah

  He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.

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  (801): He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me. http://tfl.nu/9uhs
  Replies (33) Good night (5937) Bad night (1565) Order T-Shirt
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.

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  (651): pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there. http://tfl.nu/jyzf
  Replies (6) Good night (2793) Bad night (700) Order T-Shirt
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  (281): View more from Texas

  Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am

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  (281): Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am http://tfl.nu/24br
  Replies (3) Good night (1919) Bad night (1010) Order T-Shirt
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  (438): View more from Quebec

  I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.

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  (438): I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning. http://tfl.nu/ev9g
  Replies (15) Good night (3047) Bad night (877) Order T-Shirt
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk

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  (781): just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk http://tfl.nu/vmmw
  Replies (14) Good night (2805) Bad night (1882) Order T-Shirt
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..

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  (843): Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming.. http://tfl.nu/kfd5
  Replies (49) Good night (2754) Bad night (4905) Order T-Shirt
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.

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  (317): Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good. http://tfl.nu/7ot5
  Replies (2) Good night (3133) Bad night (689) Order T-Shirt
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height

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  (780): The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height http://tfl.nu/mxot
  Replies (9) Good night (4594) Bad night (826) Order T-Shirt
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'

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  (615): When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.' http://tfl.nu/622f
  Replies (5) Good night (2057) Bad night (765) Order T-Shirt
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double

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  (604): she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double http://tfl.nu/55xg
  Replies (18) Good night (4642) Bad night (934) Order T-Shirt
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance

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  (815): I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance http://tfl.nu/h8yt
  Replies (28) Good night (5915) Bad night (1556) Order T-Shirt
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  (425): View more from Washington

  i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house

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  (425): i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house http://tfl.nu/3ff4
  Replies (40) Good night (7726) Bad night (1126) Order T-Shirt