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kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
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