Texts From Last Night

CavsFan478's Favorites Texts:

Sort By: Date Favorited / Date Posted / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer http://tfl.nu/c3p9
  Replies (32) Good night (10873) Bad night (1084) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running. http://tfl.nu/jcc8
  Replies (76) Good night (16209) Bad night (1839)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (562): the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon... http://tfl.nu/do0i
  Replies (94) Good night (20299) Bad night (1696)
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (352): i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE http://tfl.nu/5phb
  Replies (184) Good night (51569) Bad night (2261)
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (810): Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever. http://tfl.nu/u46n
  Replies (21) Good night (4989) Bad night (1730) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (409): View more from Texas

  First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (409): First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance. http://tfl.nu/3lur
  Replies (32) Good night (9428) Bad night (1809) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel. http://tfl.nu/te56
  Replies (10) Good night (6503) Bad night (884) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss

  (301): View more from Maryland

  OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?

  (518): View more from New York

  Doritoesssssss

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss (301): OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with? (518): Doritoesssssss http://tfl.nu/528p
  Replies (41) Good night (13047) Bad night (1172)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Whoa, Gary Coleman died

  (224): View more from Illinois

  Whatchu talkin bout?!?!

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Too soon.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): Whoa, Gary Coleman died (224): Whatchu talkin bout?!?! (847): Too soon. http://tfl.nu/36gw
  Replies (49) Good night (6941) Bad night (1620)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (267): Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids. http://tfl.nu/vgjd
  Replies (33) Good night (5680) Bad night (810) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (207): dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat http://tfl.nu/ast4
  Replies (56) Good night (15632) Bad night (1473) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (205): I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean. http://tfl.nu/fik0
  Replies (44) Good night (9966) Bad night (1013) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  Clothes are such an inconvenience.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): Clothes are such an inconvenience. http://tfl.nu/1jcm
  Replies (22) Good night (8273) Bad night (828) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style http://tfl.nu/9r5x
  Replies (39) Good night (12562) Bad night (1116) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (501): This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower. http://tfl.nu/hbb7
  Replies (62) Good night (19381) Bad night (1458) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not." http://tfl.nu/pkrm
  Replies (18) Good night (6119) Bad night (1148) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (216): oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs. http://tfl.nu/udb9
  Replies (28) Good night (641) Bad night (5971) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (808): View more from Hawaii

  how do you spell 'special'? like slow?

  (210): View more from Texas

  S P E L L C H E C K

  (808): View more from Hawaii

  No you dumbass thats not right

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (808): how do you spell 'special'? like slow? (210): S P E L L C H E C K (808): No you dumbass thats not right http://tfl.nu/z6b5
  Replies (14) Good night (3147) Bad night (779)
• Favorite

  (252): View more from North Carolina

  This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (252): This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero. http://tfl.nu/82jq
  Replies (16) Good night (7175) Bad night (881) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on. http://tfl.nu/5fm3
  Replies (30) Good night (10142) Bad night (1471) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns. http://tfl.nu/xebd
  Replies (56) Good night (13467) Bad night (1337) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you. http://tfl.nu/55t9
  Replies (34) Good night (3239) Bad night (747) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (712): View more from Iowa

  She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (712): She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow... http://tfl.nu/48nf
  Replies (5) Good night (654) Bad night (1024) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  Adam has been drinking

  (1-810): View more from Michigan

  Who has his phone

  (810): View more from Michigan

  Adam does

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (810): Adam has been drinking (1-810): Who has his phone (810): Adam does http://tfl.nu/tl53
  Replies (15) Good night (7570) Bad night (624)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs http://tfl.nu/0f09
  Replies (20) Good night (11266) Bad night (1221) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (256): I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed. http://tfl.nu/8aru
  Replies (28) Good night (4988) Bad night (1935) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (318): He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later." http://tfl.nu/4lz3
  Replies (14) Good night (2277) Bad night (3588) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (740): He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over http://tfl.nu/br0o
  Replies (41) Good night (1100) Bad night (2733) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  drunk me is so punny.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (803): so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life. (843): drunk me is so punny. http://tfl.nu/qdzv
  Replies (19) Good night (8607) Bad night (847)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.

  (1-973): View more from New Jersey

  Guess she heard her killer coming

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear. (1-973): Guess she heard her killer coming http://tfl.nu/u45m
  Replies (116) Good night (46414) Bad night (2025) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for http://tfl.nu/goo7
  Replies (27) Good night (10024) Bad night (694) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back. http://tfl.nu/ko52
  Replies (13) Good night (5760) Bad night (814)
• Favorite

  (559): View more from California

  You realize it's finals week?

  (408): View more from California

  Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (559): You realize it's finals week? (408): Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first. http://tfl.nu/rjos
  Replies (19) Good night (6202) Bad night (801)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it. http://tfl.nu/8sm7
  Replies (75) Good night (21614) Bad night (2487) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (604): She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking. http://tfl.nu/ilmx
  Replies (110) Good night (50605) Bad night (1662) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.' http://tfl.nu/mde3
  Replies (248) Good night (66709) Bad night (2996) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart http://tfl.nu/al7w
  Replies (182) Good night (51516) Bad night (1868)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (724): also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am. http://tfl.nu/33o2
  Replies (61) Good night (30527) Bad night (1220) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.

  (1-913): View more from Kansas

  You're the best girlfriend ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (913): Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat. (1-913): You're the best girlfriend ever. http://tfl.nu/imen
  Replies (144) Good night (39904) Bad night (1313) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (212): I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland. http://tfl.nu/ca0n
  Replies (71) Good night (29365) Bad night (1297) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section http://tfl.nu/5gr0
  Replies (1628) Good night (168252) Bad night (42157) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT. http://tfl.nu/zq8a
  Replies (203) Good night (40005) Bad night (3195) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration". http://tfl.nu/m5rh
  Replies (87) Good night (51277) Bad night (3138) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed. http://tfl.nu/5k49
  Replies (20) Good night (6661) Bad night (1077)
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.

  (1-661): View more from California

  What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (661): Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up. (1-661): What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how" http://tfl.nu/sghh
  Replies (50) Good night (29868) Bad night (1107)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high? http://tfl.nu/2d1b
  Replies (38) Good night (8633) Bad night (604) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Honestly, what else do I have going for me?

  (216): View more from Ohio

  You make a valid point.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (216): Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets. (440): Honestly, what else do I have going for me? (216): You make a valid point. http://tfl.nu/ba8r
  Replies (22) Good night (1537) Bad night (3641)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (757): He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish. http://tfl.nu/lwox
  Replies (42) Good night (19855) Bad night (962) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?

  (818): View more from California

  by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA? (818): by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ http://tfl.nu/5i2r
  Replies (43) Good night (13881) Bad night (970)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (757): At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP." http://tfl.nu/p091
  Replies (297) Good night (73373) Bad night (2464) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog. http://tfl.nu/73qd
  Replies (444) Good night (112209) Bad night (9724) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  I'm fucking your sister right now.

  (1-813): View more from Florida

  You motherfucker

  (813): View more from Florida

  She's next.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): I'm fucking your sister right now. (1-813): You motherfucker (813): She's next. http://tfl.nu/gaup
  Replies (152) Good night (65379) Bad night (3435)
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  what happened last night?

  (917): View more from New York City

  u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style

  (718): View more from New York

  that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (718): what happened last night? (917): u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style (718): that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left http://tfl.nu/i3a9
  Replies (39) Good night (13968) Bad night (901)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward http://tfl.nu/dpap
  Replies (358) Good night (59116) Bad night (7121) Order T-Shirt