Texts From Last Night · BigZee's Favorites

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BigZee's Favorites Texts:

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(559): View more from California

I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon

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(425): View more from Washington

I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it

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(914): View more from New York

I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.

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(210): View more from Texas

I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(604): View more from British Columbia

I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.

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(224): View more from Illinois

Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.

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(941): View more from Florida

Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs

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(336): View more from North Carolina

Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.

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